Finally the big day is coming and all work are over and worth it! I m going to graduate to become media assistant this friday. I m so exited and nervous for it. Geesh.. I can't stop shaking.
..
And again I ask myself, what m I so afraid of? Falling over? Being total idiot? ..( I usually end up being a little bit stupid when I m nervous.)
Then I realized that I still have fear for the people. People who hurted me long time ago are gone but why I m still so damn scared everyone around me? Why I can't be me and brave like everyone else?
..
And who m I anyways? I m me yes, but who and what is me? I have been calling myself Varjokani, and keep feeling like half animal due my adoption progress that ended up me being 1 years old adopted kid with no human contacts or any human features. I was becoming the feral child.
..
But why was I picked up? What did God want from me? Why me? And again "me?" with a BIG question mark.
Yea. I think I have things .. a big things to sort and make clear inside my head before I m completely healed from all pain that is inside me.
