Like how I can't remember the faces of people anymore. I still can remember the faces of people who used to bully me as a kid. Or at least some of them even I haven't seen them in years, and Im sure they are changed for what they used to look like when I was 1-3 grades at school.
The worst part is that I could not remember my old "family members" like Viikka and Bigwig clearly no more. I did find an old photo of my rabbits Bigwig and Tom Tom from my old diary and I ended up crying for a while. I still miss my little rabbit babies. But then even I have seen photos of Viikka, my family's late dog I feel that whenever I think of him I can't remember the face so clear and I usually end up thinking of some other same breed dogs I 've met instead of his face.
And it kinda makes me feel sad. I did hate the dog because the dog and I had hard competition on the matter of mom's affection and mom's limited time. But once he became ill and I was taking care of him I think we made peace and were a family... Even that time only lasted for couple weeks before his death. I still find it odd how I can't remember what someone looked like even I did live with them on the same house for multiple years.
It feels scary and I almost want to cry.
But then again maybe I'm just over processing this situation.
But the one thing I can learn from this is that I'm gonna shoot a lot of pics of Zorro Veli and Weedi so I won't forget them. I don't want to forget my family...
Another scary tough. I don't remember my mom's face in a way that she used to look like when I was small. But I know she looks different and lots older every day. And it makes me worry. Because I don't want to lose her either. I feel like my human addiction has something to do with me being neglected and abandoned as a child so I 've literally had everything taken away from me and I've literally been all alone in the universe. So I don't want it to happen again. Even I don't remember it. My body seems to be able to remember it.
