When I come to think about myself.. About all sad times I had and all feelings that I had in my life I feel thinking of how I become what I m. After seeing movie based of life of Truddi Chase, girl who had documented with MPD; multiple personalities disorder I have started to think of my own personality.
There is the part of me that is nice and caring and polite but really really weak from inside and who easily wants to cry. When the other side is ready to be social and nice and is always getting great ideas and inspiration from things around me...
Then I have the warrior side of my persona that sometimes I m ready to fight till death. The warrior type of me is silent and just stares people around me. I dunno maybe I m analyzing myself too hard. I just remember when being in confirmation camp I could not get sleep when others were yelling middle of night. I just rose from bed and stared them because I was too tired to talk.. And they said I looked like I was about to kill them. They were scared and I found it odd.
Maybe I do have many sides of my personalities and I think I should not have any reason to worry about MPD as long as I can remeber all things and don't feel like I m snipped awake from moment that I don't remember what happened. So I think I m just normal kid but I still find this kind of thinking interesting. Yet I know when I write this all nonsense here I m sure everyone thinks I m stupid. But you know what. I could not care less. Or at least the "warrior" side of me does not care.
