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Hi!
Night has started to fall here in Finland, but I just felt like I wanted to write something here before going a sleep. Yes, one thing to mention right here at start, yes I know that Finland won, but NO I don´t like it. Don´t think that I m cheater or traitor or rat before you have read this entry.

I came home late at yesterday night. I was helping filming Uneton48 stuff for one youth media. I barely got any sleep there because I were busy. Then I finally came back at the right  end of Finland I felt really tired. I felt so tired that I stayed over night with my buck hare*. He was really kind to let me stay and then I had a change to sleep finally after 48h of busyness and editing and acting.. BUT did I had a lovely peaceful silence I was hoping for? NO! The mad screaming and yelling kept going over whole night. And because I had been busy I had no idea why there was such of yelling and screaming going on, because I just had no time to watch tv, or media because work with that film took all of my time, and when I was not working I was tried to had naps. So when I was with my buck it was so close that we both did not call over police for "pointless and crazy yelling at the neighborhood middle of the night."  But then we heard from our friend about the situation. For being honest I were really sad for losing my "peaceful change to have a good rest and sleep well."

Then for morning and by next days everyone have been talking about the game and how "fun" it had been. If you  think that winning was fun I say to you I m partly agree, but it was no fun that I had no change to sleep after being on hard work for 48h and having only some 4 hours to sleep, if even that.

But yees.. Thats all for me being mad for Ice hockey. All I say that I wish that Russia or Sweden had win, then I could have slept well at that night instead of me being bad lack of sleep. But now into the time with me and my own buck hare. He was really nice to me. He even bought me the old "Narnia: The lion, the witch and the wardrobe" by BBC. He just asked me to come with him to buy it and then he said "Oh.. And this is for  you." *hug* I think that it was really nice for him. I just wish I were old enough to marry him.. Well luckily I m soon old enough to do it!

And also I hope that changes like Uneton48 movie competion will be more in future. I just loved that time there!  They even brought us (my and my buck) lots of carrots because we were their "brown hares". Then I got one awesome cd at free.

But I think I will be going to sleep now  when I have the change to do it, and relax with some good book maybe. I m sorry for every Ice hockey fans if this text hurt your feelings. I have nothing against you guys, you are awesome, but please next time when yelling please remember that some folk maybe wants to get some sleep after long and hard work. This is a small country and I think we all should be able to fit in here. Even I who wants to sleep..

* Human-rabbit -hybrid like me does not say boyfriend, but says "buck hare" instead.

-Tanya Efrafalainen

ps. I love you all! Thanks for support.

Hiya!

Hi!
Welcome to read the one and only really alive-being one blogs of Varjokani. It is true that I have Finnish lnguage blog on my.Opera[dot]com but I simply m too lazy to update it. And now into the one of the 'main message of this blog' or the main reason Im sitting here and writing this; my lazyness.

Lately I just have been really lazy. I have almost forgot one rp at Gaiaonline.com 'till one of my friends sent me a message for it. That is  a shame because I really loved that rp.  It just is that its so hard to do anyting as I planned. Yes, I m still quite active on dA, an youtube but I just feel bit of like its hard to keep being online and active all those awesome sites that I have account, and those wich I like. But why m I like this? I have been melancoly person whole of my life.. Or at least really big part of it. And then I have been suffering from depression for 5 years now.. At least. But what have changed? That I really can feel that I m alive. I have met the most awesome "buck rabbit" of my life. I just feel like I enjoy the time with him.

Yes, now of course you think that my sad times were over, but it is hot.. Yet. I read somewere that "..as long as you have hard times, and you feel like keeping going on is impossible then surely you are on the right way."  Yes, When I first heard it of I was like what the heck? How? It is true that hard times are so annoying, and feel shitty and that it never feels easier to remember them an of course when you started to feel ok, you fall down on the bottom. But the truth is that after this all shit in my small life it has become easier to understand those who also suffer. I so can understand people who feel like there is nothing left and they want to die because I have also felt it and I still do at some times. For being onest that is how every awesome people I know have felt. If u ever feel the same remember that all cool folk have had it, and they survived and now they can help others eith their understanding

And why in heck m I writing this? Because most of the people around me dont see what I do. My teachers etc. hate me for being me, and they keep wondering why I m sad after going trought all the stuff I have.

But now for the good things I would mention I and my buck (human-rabbit hybrid like me don´t use the word 'boyfriend') have been making short movie film for Uneton48. Dont worry. I will link it here when it comes out from youtube. I love u and remember when u have hard, then u know u are special, not just some mass 'i m happy fellow' who only sees himself, and is blind to suffering of others.

(Ps. I try to be "active".)

-Varjokani