Hiya!

Hi!
Welcome to read the one and only really alive-being one blogs of Varjokani. It is true that I have Finnish lnguage blog on my.Opera[dot]com but I simply m too lazy to update it. And now into the one of the 'main message of this blog' or the main reason Im sitting here and writing this; my lazyness.

Lately I just have been really lazy. I have almost forgot one rp at Gaiaonline.com 'till one of my friends sent me a message for it. That is  a shame because I really loved that rp.  It just is that its so hard to do anyting as I planned. Yes, I m still quite active on dA, an youtube but I just feel bit of like its hard to keep being online and active all those awesome sites that I have account, and those wich I like. But why m I like this? I have been melancoly person whole of my life.. Or at least really big part of it. And then I have been suffering from depression for 5 years now.. At least. But what have changed? That I really can feel that I m alive. I have met the most awesome "buck rabbit" of my life. I just feel like I enjoy the time with him.

Yes, now of course you think that my sad times were over, but it is hot.. Yet. I read somewere that "..as long as you have hard times, and you feel like keeping going on is impossible then surely you are on the right way."  Yes, When I first heard it of I was like what the heck? How? It is true that hard times are so annoying, and feel shitty and that it never feels easier to remember them an of course when you started to feel ok, you fall down on the bottom. But the truth is that after this all shit in my small life it has become easier to understand those who also suffer. I so can understand people who feel like there is nothing left and they want to die because I have also felt it and I still do at some times. For being onest that is how every awesome people I know have felt. If u ever feel the same remember that all cool folk have had it, and they survived and now they can help others eith their understanding

And why in heck m I writing this? Because most of the people around me dont see what I do. My teachers etc. hate me for being me, and they keep wondering why I m sad after going trought all the stuff I have.

But now for the good things I would mention I and my buck (human-rabbit hybrid like me don´t use the word 'boyfriend') have been making short movie film for Uneton48. Dont worry. I will link it here when it comes out from youtube. I love u and remember when u have hard, then u know u are special, not just some mass 'i m happy fellow' who only sees himself, and is blind to suffering of others.

(Ps. I try to be "active".)

-Varjokani