Feverish nonsense of nothing interesting

I just feel like writing a story even I don't have any ideas what to tell. Also I feel numb and sensless like I was half dead. Maybe it is because I feel really tired... But somehow I still want to write a storyline of mice and rats and all kind of creatures fighting for their freedom somewhere far away from here in the era when humans were not concoured all the forests and land in world themselves.

I have imagine in my head about animals ruling all by themselves and taking care of their own busines. But maybe it is because of fever starting to rise again.. or maybe it is because I just read 'The secret of Nimh' but at the other hand I think it is because of both.

Forest, walleys and rivers they all kinda float before my eyes and I feel like I m there not here. I kinda can hear the wind in trees and feel the sun in my face. But not only I can feel the warmness of the sun, but I can feel something really evil lurking around.

That is the world I wanna write about but my head feels kinda empty of toughts. I don't have any ideas what would be the main plot. Lost sword or lost "hero" finding himself being hero feels too used for me.. Same thing goes with the "One ring to rule them all."

Maybe I m odd, because when I  m tired or ill I always want to write stories and do stuff.. Just when I was supposed to rest and take a nap I want to write or do something else instead.. Who cares. I bet no one reads this blog anyways. Well I don't care it either if anyone really reads this or not but I just feel like this writing kinda clears the mist inside my head.

Well my head is different for rest of us. After all I was supposed to be "A wild child".. I have read it takes only 2-3 years to human grow up his/hers first years without any contacts in other humankind to become one ... well whatever.

I just keep thinking what would happen if not and when not that and this but same time I feel like thinking of nothing, when the other side of my head keeps planning the plot for new novel. Well I quess it is normal for me when I m ill. I never tought of it before before now.

Maybe I should stop writing all this nonsense and shit?.. Why? Then I would feel really bored and I really don't feel like I want to go to bed just yet. And maybe if I keep writing my toughts down I manage to cathch up that Fever raged picture from my head and make a good book plot from it.

That brings to me to think that I never published any of my official texts anywhere.. Should I? Maybe not. I think they would be too boring so no one would not read them anyways. But anyways why do I think of what people do think anyways? Why anyone thinks of that?

It seems to be somekind of inner type in our nature to think what other think of us even it only makes us to think before we act, but somehow it also makes us to not act.. Because we somehow are scared of the world around us. Why? That is a question we all can ask from ourselfs and maybe we wake up a bit smarter at next morning.. Maybe not but maybe.

Drawing ideas?

私は私が退屈退屈退屈退屈だ..
私は次の描画にどのような新しいアイデアにたい..あなたは私のアイデアをお願いしますお願いします
すべてのアイデアは暖かく歓迎されています。

-Varjokani

Well I think I m saved..

I managed to download free version of Daz studio to give it as present to my boyfriend. I really hope he likes it.. ^^

But I m still ill and feel really odd and kinda over energized and I hope people will not hate me now. If they do hate me well they haven't said anything just yet.

Still I should be doing some school stuff soon. I still have to finish my audio book and couple other things. But also I feel kinda too tired to think about them now. Maybe I will think of them later and suffer for them later. At the moment I feel too feverish to think anything smart but also I feel I have too much energy to go to sleep now. Also how could I sleep when I promised to go to my boyfrend's birthday.

..
I should also think what code I m going to specialize. I have been thinking of Java Script, Phyton and Lua and I feel like having difficulties to choose between those. Maybe I will make out something maybe I will not. Who knows. After all we cant tell what happens untill it happens for sure.

Also that saying goes with all things with our lifes. We can't know anything until it happens. We might live our last minute now or tomorrow or maybe it will come after next thousand of years..
We will never know. Also  I think it is a good thing just for our own safeside to not know happenings of tomorrow.  Just think of it. If we would know what would happen to us next we would surely try stay "home and safe" doing nothing and then will would notice we would die knowing having really boring life behind of us.

Would that be nice? Maybe for some of us would say yes but I m not so sure about it. I somehow like surprises and interesting events in life.

But I will writing more soon
-Varjokani