Good morning peeeople

Hi there everyone. I decided that it is time to me to take myself from neck and straight up and start uploading here stuff daily. Yep, that is what I m going to do. If I fail, please feel free to hit me.. or Vinnie if I happen to escape somewhere like in my bed sleeping when I m lazy.

Yep yesterday was pretty good day and weather was good. Or maybe bit too  hot. But today I m sure ( or my inner radar in my head) tells me that it is going to rain and heavy. Man, I was just getting used to be in sunlight. Someone has been escaping sun and social life for while because "is scared of everything".

Well we must see what happens.. or maybe we never see it. Either way today I was asked to draw and after using two whole days being lazy and just managing to make small brush sets maybe I should start working harder. And draw something.

yyayayayya! ehehhe..? Who m I anyways and why so scared?

Finally the big day is coming and all work are over and worth it! I m going to graduate to become media assistant this friday. I m so exited and nervous for it. Geesh.. I can't stop shaking.
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And again I ask myself, what m I so afraid of? Falling over? Being total idiot? ..( I usually end up being a little bit stupid when I m nervous.)

Then I realized that I still have fear for the people. People who hurted me long time ago are gone but why I m still so damn scared everyone around me? Why I can't be me and brave like everyone else?
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And who m I anyways? I m me  yes, but who and what is me? I have been calling myself Varjokani, and keep feeling like half animal due my adoption progress that ended up me being 1 years old adopted kid with  no human contacts or any human features. I was becoming the feral child.

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But why was I picked up? What did God want from me? Why me? And again "me?" with a BIG question mark.

Yea. I think I  have things .. a big things to sort and make clear inside my head before I m completely healed from all pain that is inside me.