Rocket Raccoon Tribute - So What?

This song and this vid are so my current mood towards everything and everyone. Rocket Raccoon is my fave Marvel charachter and I can relate to him on so many levels and there is a really good reason behind it.
Lyrics:

So what if I'm crazier than crazy?
So what if I'm sicker than sick?
So what if I'm out of control?
Maybe that's what I like about it

You can say that I'm going insane
And I'm not quite right
And that I'm to blame
You can say that I'm sick on the inside
Bet you don't know I like it that way
You can say whatever you like
If it's so wrong I don't wanna be right!

So what if I'm crazier than crazy?
So what if I'm sicker than sick?
So what if I'm out of control?
Maybe that's what I like about it
So what?
So what?

You can say that I'm going insane
And I'm not quite right
And that I'm to blame
I don't care you can say what you want to
I am who I am and I'll never be like you
You can say whatever you like
If it's so wrong I don't wanna be right!

So what if I'm crazier than crazy?
So what if I'm sicker than sick?
So what if I'm out of control?
Maybe that's what I like about it
So what?
So what?

And when I'm up
It's better than ever
And when I'm down
I'm desperate
And when I'm up
It's better than ever
And when I'm down
I'm desperate
I'm desperate
I'm desperate

So what if I'm crazier than crazy?
So what if I'm sicker than sick?
So what if I'm out of control?
Maybe that's what I like about it
So what?
So what?

あなたは私を読むことができますか？

あなたは私を読むことができますか？
誰もが私の魂から私を読んで、私の心の内側の痛みを読み取ることができればちょうど疑問..

誰かが、この痛みが消えるてくださいお願いします。私はこのためにあまりにも疲れメートル。私は戦士メートル。しかし、この戦争は私のものではありません。私はあまりにも疲れメートル。私の魂の内側が多すぎ傷。
どれも私が出血見ない。私は私に答えるために、それを期待して暗闇に一人で泣く。私の痛みの緩和に私をする。しかし、私だけではメートル。

Yea guys I m still depressed and feeling like crying out load. Somehow it is easier if its done with Japanese. So I hope some day someone reads this message and sees the pain hidden between letters .

Okay I have to say. I haven't been able to write for while and now after writing couple rows I already feel so much better. I dunno if anyone reads this, but I don't care. At least I m able to cry outload.
::.. Okay I m honest. My vocation school nurse told me to stop this befcause someone in real life could see this and tease me more because my pain.
But how else should I bleed my pain out but writing?
  

Good morning peeeople

Hi there everyone. I decided that it is time to me to take myself from neck and straight up and start uploading here stuff daily. Yep, that is what I m going to do. If I fail, please feel free to hit me.. or Vinnie if I happen to escape somewhere like in my bed sleeping when I m lazy.

Yep yesterday was pretty good day and weather was good. Or maybe bit too  hot. But today I m sure ( or my inner radar in my head) tells me that it is going to rain and heavy. Man, I was just getting used to be in sunlight. Someone has been escaping sun and social life for while because "is scared of everything".

Well we must see what happens.. or maybe we never see it. Either way today I was asked to draw and after using two whole days being lazy and just managing to make small brush sets maybe I should start working harder. And draw something.

There still is something dark inside me?

Okay so it was not so smart idea to kill two small tics I found from an other of my kittens fur. I just crushed them with pliers I found from dad's tool set. I dunno. I somehow felt really happy and relaxed while doing it.
..
Yes the some of you might remember the time when I had bad habit of writing and drawing really hard and bloody stuff..
And this one here is just minor example. I mean this fellow still had a change to survive unlike some others of my drawings.

Usually I let my mom to take care of killing them because I just kinda still seem to have the an other side of mine.. Yes when I was at school I was bullied and I kinda lost all human feelings of mine. There was a part of me who just wanted to tear everyone into peaces.. And yes I sadly feel that this shadow inside me has not yet dead unlike I tough. I was sure it was over but now I just realized even I did just kill couple of small insects  I still found that there still is the dark side of mine left. The one that has no other feelings but thirst to get my hands covered with blood..

And somehow I find it heck of creepy.. Its not like I m going to kill any people. I never would allow myself to do that. I would never forgive myself. And after being Christian kid and believing Jesus loves everyone I would never dare to.. But yes. There still seems to be something dark left inside me. Something I haven't got known yet. I know my other trauma's and I know my wounds so I can treat them and they have started to heal. But I found that there still is something left. Something really dark and cold.
Something that I hope will never awake towards humans.

Yes. I know that I m over reacting and I know everyone of us has their shadows and bad sides. Also I know that my dark side is not even near the worst it could be.. but I still have to come face to face that I still have injuries inside my soul and still even I have started to feel like human I still have that "shadow" inside me..
Yea.. I really know what Kovu means in Lion King 2 with that ".. Maybe I got the darkness inside me too.."

Yep. its not nice but I have to live with it. Don't worry I m not going to hurt anyone who is able to breath. I m not the type. But stay tuned and be warned for blood in my art because now I m really feeling like drawing something that I m sure I will regret later on.
-Varjokani