Horrorstory: Nightshadow, the cursed one

This text is 100% improvised and 100% fiction. None were harmed while writing this. And I'm not recommeding any of u to read any part of this. Its part of my old story re-done and improvised.
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The sky is darkening around me. I feel lonely.. and so cold. I feel like losting last rips of my senses as darkness falls over me. I try keep breathing and staying awake. But its impossible. I can't feel the pain anymore. I have felt too much of it. So I cant feel any no more. I smile. Finally.. Finally its time for the grand ending. -- But how much did it cost. How many times I was scared for this. Many for sure. But now it finally was the end. I felt so calm and almost happy for it. finally. No more pain or conspiracies around me. Finally.

The darkness closes in and I fell a  deep sleep.


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I open my eyes. I'm silently coming to my senses again. I feel like would suddenly fallen into sleep after long day at doing something hard.  I'm running. The sun keeps hovering over me. I'm thirsty. What happened? Why m'I running? What just happened? Where m I? I turn my head as I run to see whats behind me. Bad mistake. I fall. I feel something sharp beating over my face. Branches and trees hit me in a second I stop looking where I'm runnin. I struggle trought them  with cursing and spitting needles from pinetrees as I run. Or struggle. At this rate running is impossible. I get clear of the worst bush and start running again. I turn around again to see if there is something behind me. I don't remember anything for couple last seconds. I m confused, and scared.

I get struct and hit again. But this time its different. Its something soft ... and furry. I fall down with it. I feel something metallic and cold being held against my neck. My heart starts racing even more. 'Shit.. I'm done for'.
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Want me to continiue? Maybe I will if you share this and comment this. :)

There still is something dark inside me?

Okay so it was not so smart idea to kill two small tics I found from an other of my kittens fur. I just crushed them with pliers I found from dad's tool set. I dunno. I somehow felt really happy and relaxed while doing it.
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Yes the some of you might remember the time when I had bad habit of writing and drawing really hard and bloody stuff..
And this one here is just minor example. I mean this fellow still had a change to survive unlike some others of my drawings.

Usually I let my mom to take care of killing them because I just kinda still seem to have the an other side of mine.. Yes when I was at school I was bullied and I kinda lost all human feelings of mine. There was a part of me who just wanted to tear everyone into peaces.. And yes I sadly feel that this shadow inside me has not yet dead unlike I tough. I was sure it was over but now I just realized even I did just kill couple of small insects  I still found that there still is the dark side of mine left. The one that has no other feelings but thirst to get my hands covered with blood..

And somehow I find it heck of creepy.. Its not like I m going to kill any people. I never would allow myself to do that. I would never forgive myself. And after being Christian kid and believing Jesus loves everyone I would never dare to.. But yes. There still seems to be something dark left inside me. Something I haven't got known yet. I know my other trauma's and I know my wounds so I can treat them and they have started to heal. But I found that there still is something left. Something really dark and cold.
Something that I hope will never awake towards humans.

Yes. I know that I m over reacting and I know everyone of us has their shadows and bad sides. Also I know that my dark side is not even near the worst it could be.. but I still have to come face to face that I still have injuries inside my soul and still even I have started to feel like human I still have that "shadow" inside me..
Yea.. I really know what Kovu means in Lion King 2 with that ".. Maybe I got the darkness inside me too.."

Yep. its not nice but I have to live with it. Don't worry I m not going to hurt anyone who is able to breath. I m not the type. But stay tuned and be warned for blood in my art because now I m really feeling like drawing something that I m sure I will regret later on.
-Varjokani