Huhhuh. Time has clearly passed. Opened my old laptop after over like 4 months and everything is suddently updating and trying to fix itself and I could not figure anything else to do while waiting than spam here so here I'm.
So yea atm I m at part time job that is dued to end at Authumn. Looking for better job but I feel I can't focus on finding a new job as long as I still have my old job so I m waiting my old job to end before getting new one.
So what has been going on my life. Yea I m single and quite happy. Or at least I think I'm happy. It has been interesting to notice how little me and my ex in really had in common. Okay we both were Christians and liked rabbits but thats abou it. He clearly wanted me to be his mom replica and I with my own depression could not do it for him. Yea I m on therapy now with my depression and woah. It seems the old wounds are really deep. And I just now have started to understand my own adhd and my own behaviour. Also I think me being adopted as 1 years old totally feral child with no eye contact skills etc has something to do why Im the way I m.
Also I read that if someone is abandoned once as a child they easily fear being abandoned again and feel strong loss when they have to loose someone. Maybe that has something to do with the fact why I wanna be friends with everyone and why I value the fact that all people get along with each other more than the guy next door.
And about guy next door Ive learned that I m not only rabbit furry in Finland and this makes me really happy. Big shoutout to all fellow bunnies out there! Varjokani loves u. <3
..
And then there is the factor of Rocket Raccoon. I somehow have really weird feelings towards him. But I think I will tell about them in my next post because this post already is too long. Lol.. But in short I love him and I wanna protect him and make sure no one ever gets a change to hurt him again. And then I m like "No I m not a mother for anyone. I need all my energy to survive my own depression.." But then I just see any damn raccoon pics and Im like "Awwww.. I wanna be your mom." And if I see pics of Rocket I m like daamn he is hot. *blush*
