I cant focus on anything

I was surprised that they actually signed me up for some kind of training program again for getting a job. I m happy about it. I was sure they would just have passed me down to the next person.

One thing I've noticed because of the heat is that I notice that my adhd gets worse. Like its almost impossible for me to focus on anything. I keep hyper focusing on something for one second and then I keep being distracted and forgetting what I was even doing in a first place. I tried to watch some youtube vids but I notice myself not even being being able to focus watching a Youtube video. I'm usually able at least to do that.

I think it has something to do with the all the water dissapearing from my body with the heat and my adhd medicines also dissapear from my body more quickly.

Like I was at my typ meeting today and I noticed being both hyper focusing there but somehow I felt like I was not able to remember almost anything about it from afterwards. And now I feel like I cant focus on anything. I feel like I was drunk even I have only drinken lemonade and water. And I feel dizzy and confused.

Its kinda scary, but then again I feel that I'm way too sleepy to  even freak out or panic about it.

Not able to focus hurt me most was when my friend called me on phone and asked if I wanted to hang out with her today. I was unable to tell her anything but "I don't know.." Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I did not eat anything else besides breakfast at 9am till the evening 'till 14:00pm when I ate few burritos.

Usually the dazzed feeling passes away when I eat. But now I still I feel really confused and sleepy.

I did take my d-vitamin pills at morning and I was in sun during the day so at least it should not be because the lack of the vitamin d.. Or how should I know anything?
I feel so confused right now.

Maybe I should just take a nap or turn it to for the night.

But I somehow don't feel tired in a way. I feel dazzed and confused, but not sleepy. I still blame the combo of all water being being drained from my body and my adhd meds getting drained out with it too.

I haven't heard any GNG rumors lately and I feel bit exited for new rumours, but at this moment I feel like I'm not gonna hear any rumours till end of the June.


I'm still hyped for the Lion King... Even now I'm already 100 sure that I cant enjoy it so much as the original. And it makes me kinda dissapointed.

Also on the view of what I wanna do with my life, I still have zero idea what I wanna do. And at the moment I feel like its impossible to me to even think anything or focus on anything. But ya. I think I think I will stop writing now and try to get some sleep.

But then again I feel like I might wanna watch some cartoons before going. But then again I feel like if I dont go now I will have to work super hard to be able to relax and become sleepy again.

Thinks to be waiting for in summer 2019

Here are some things that I m currently waiting for in summer 2019

1.  Lion King Live action
   really scared really, because its made by same folk that did Jungle Book, and that movie failed on som many levels. It failed for trying to copy the book and to copy the Disney cartoon. It took all things I loved in both of them and threw them out from the window. Thay almost ruined the whole Daddyheera* for me.
2. My Birthday
   That event  coming at 21.06 and I'm really nervous for it. I m not ready to be 25 years old. But the good thing is that this year me and my irl friend who has birthday one day earlier than me are throwing a party together. I still have to figure what to buy for him. He did buy me Fallout 4 last year.
3.  Ginga Nagareboshi Gin stage drama show
   I loved the "original" Finnish theatherical releases of both Ginga and Weed. They were awesome. Ive been hanging out on this one Finnish GNG site waiting for news if there is gonna be official dvd release of the product later on that I can purchase. I dunno if I m gonna hang out in the forums after recieving info of the drama show. Maybe, if I get hyped. But for one thing I m sure. GNG will never replace Guardians of the Galaxy in my heart. Fun fact I did originally fall in love with them for same reason; The awesome music and relatable charachters. Now as an adult  I can see how annoying charachter Gin was as in Ginga Nagareboshi Gin. For the sequels Yoshiro Takahashi toned it down in heavy strokes. But truth is if one acts like Gin in real life they get hated and bullied. Other peole aren't so keen on being friends with you if you take life lessons from Ginga considering your social skills and how you act towards other people. Yes it teaches to be honest and kind, but Gin is more than that. He is annoying and he exepts everyone to wanting to be his friends. I learned it the hard way that one can't be friend with everyone.
4. Ginga Densetsu Noah
   This one I m not so keen on waiting but I m still following the news about it while I wait news from the stage drama. For so long as I m considered no one actually knows who Noah is or what Noah is. Its exiting.
   
   And added bonus because of the 4th is
5.  Deaths of Gin and Akame
   Almost all characters from the original Ginga nagareboshi Gin are gone and fans have been critisizing the fact that Gin is still alive and well. More weird part is that Akame seems to be just fine.. even he was semi-old dog in actual Ginga nagareboshi gin saga. I really want to try  some facial elixir he is putting on his face to keep it so pretty. But as a child I remember loving that anime and loving these characters, and as an adult I've learned that all good things come to the bitter end. I'm not even the fan of the series anymore, apart the musical. I loved it because it had awesome 1980's music from my childhood turned into Finnish songs about the plot of GNG.

*Daddyheera and Mommaheera= The name I call Bagheera when he is acting like super motherly and protective towards Mowgli.

Thunder headache - Hello summerstorms!

Yesterday was really interesting day. I got my first really bad case of thunder headache of the summer, yaay... I quess. Or not so yeaaay, when I explain what it is all about.

When ever its low pressure on the air that happens usually during the  beginning of thunder storm I get this headache. It starts as small headache but as the pressure builds up it ends up a migraine and me feeling really dizzy, and really annoyed by everything.

Funny thing is that even I was indoors it still happens. Once I was at Messukeskus Helsinki (link to their page here,) wich is competely indoors with heavy walls. And it has air conditioning of their own. So I was not in any kind of contact with outside.. and I still got "thunder headache" as I call it. Usually I never get headache, but during thunder storm approaching I always get really bad headache and feel dizzy. When I got headache in Messukeskus I was like "Wait what is this headache..? It cant be...? Wait what?" Then when I got out and saw it  rained heavily and there was the smell of the thunder int the air I was like "Oh okay this explains it."

At the other hand its useful to have this kind of super power to sense when the storm is gonna hit so I can get indoors and make sure the interenet is turned off during the storm so the lightning wont fry the modem, but then again it really can ruin the whole day and its really hard to cope with headache that keeps going on whole day.

Like this headache started actually day before yesterday, as mild discomforty feeling in my head. Yesterday it went bad. And as I m writing this I feel like the headache is slightly coming back. I quess its gonna still thunder up today.

Like this thing keeps messing with something with my brain until the pressure dissapears from the sky. Ive had this since I was a kid and at first I tought I was just crazy. But like now as an adult I have read from the internet that I m not the only one with this kind of condition so I can say high five to all others who suffer for this.

As far as I m aware there is no cure for this. Yes I can take painkillers but they only affect for short time and activate quite slowly.. and I'm the kinda person who eats painkillers only when I cant stand the pain at all. Also as far as I m aware people still dont know even the cause of this.

All I know is that for some reason low air pressure during the storms makes something to switch on my brains and give me headache that makes me feel like I was sea sick. But like I mentioned earlier, there is always "the cool factor" that I m walking weather antenna and storm warning. Thunderstorms cant surprise me. Other than the feeling when the headache starts before the actual storm and I go " Oh really? Do we have to have this storm today?" Also I love ruining it to people that I talk with when they are like "Hey wanna come to beatch with us, we bet its fun!" and I m like "Nah I pass and you should  too because its gonna thunder hard." It is always kinda interesting to see peoples faces when they realize I was right at it.

And yes the headache keeps up during the storm. It only eases after the storm is gone and weather has cleared again.

Good morning peeeople

Hi there everyone. I decided that it is time to me to take myself from neck and straight up and start uploading here stuff daily. Yep, that is what I m going to do. If I fail, please feel free to hit me.. or Vinnie if I happen to escape somewhere like in my bed sleeping when I m lazy.

Yep yesterday was pretty good day and weather was good. Or maybe bit too  hot. But today I m sure ( or my inner radar in my head) tells me that it is going to rain and heavy. Man, I was just getting used to be in sunlight. Someone has been escaping sun and social life for while because "is scared of everything".

Well we must see what happens.. or maybe we never see it. Either way today I was asked to draw and after using two whole days being lazy and just managing to make small brush sets maybe I should start working harder. And draw something.

Studies ending from 2103 last post

Well now it is time to write my last blogtext at this period. Tomorrrow I can sleep with no more worries about studies. Today was my last day at studying.. Well don't worry I haven't been kicked out from there (yet.) I will come back to school at next autumn when the leaves fall.

Somehow even I do feel relaxed and happy I find myself quite melancoly about when I think I m going to miss all the fooling around the classroom with my classmates. I m really going to miss it. But then again I know we all can rest from hard work and long days at coding etc.

And I m 100% My neck will love it. I have had horrible pains in my neck and upper  back. AND I damn know also the reason why --> Coding. ^^'

Well I have been warned about it but still I don't feel the pain when I code and do something interesting. And I kinda love coding and programming and  want to do it more.. Yes I m doing this even  I know it is not maybe the best for me.

But how can I stop doing something I love? How can anyone stop anything they love?
I know it is called addiction but when I think of it I notice that everyone is somehow addicted or depending of something.

For some it is friends, some it is tobacco, drawing, dogs, cats, pets, hobbies, running, sleeping, reading,..

For me I feel quite unpleasant if I just stand and do nothing.. So I enjoy most of myself when I keep coding simple codes html java script. etc.

-Varjokani

Latest news of my summer

The summer has finally fallen in Finland. Its kinda lovely how warm it is outside.
It is like whole new world after that cold and hard winter when you could barely see the sun. Now it seems the sun never goes to sleep but keeps hanging around 24/7. Well I have heard that in Lapland it really happens even never seen it with mine own eyes.

Well soon we will have our summer holiday. Actually now beginning week is the last one. I kinda feel sad because it. Well it is nice to relax and sleep but I have to admit that I m going to miss my class during the summer. We just have the best gang there. Everyone of us is just unique and that makes us "us". The second year media student group middle of nowhere.

I also feel bit sad when I think about it that during these two awesome year our group has become smaller when some of us have failed to keep going and studying. They have come tired because long days at school or then just wanted to do something else instead of studying. Well luckily the main group is still the same even     some people dropped out of the school at the beginning of the year. I kinda feel ashamed because I have already forgotten their names.

But I still want to keep studying editing and coding even I have learned myself my lessons how hard it can get. Maybe my classmates are right and I m mad.. After all I think we all are bit mad.  I just happen to be the one who loves coding Java Script and HTML5.

But what would I tell about my life and happenings..?
Please comment and say aloud what you want to read. :3

I would love to write a lot of things but then I notice I need to go to do couple of ambience thingies for Monday.

Writing more soon..
-Varjokani