Being nice

"Dat feels" and the amount of confusion when you have been trying to "be nice" and talk with someone about stuff they like. And when you dare to suggest them something that you would like to do, like playing your favorite video game together, and you tell them that you think they could enjoy it too they suddenly say to you that they dont want you to "Distract" them or "Talk to them" at all. Yes I can understand if people dont wanna talk with people all the time. But when it goes like "Hi you are allowed to talk about stuff I love and like but you dare to suggest something you like I m not talking to you." I m starting to think that this "friendship" is getting way more toxic than good friendships should. .. and yet I feel like I kinda wanna talk with these people..

And I m scared that they feel hurt or sad because of me. I've been talking with my terapeut lately and she told me that I m "too nice," and I should start thinking what I want and I should dare to be selfish. Somehow I m scared that I might hurt someone else in the progress if I start going full selfish mode.
I will be tring to being in clear middle-lane in between. But somehow I feel like that one person is on purpose making me feel bad if I dare to ask them something or tell them that I would love to do something with them that I would like to do. Worst part is that they themselves tell me that they want to be my friend, but dont have anything in their mind what they could do to spend time with me. But they sure say no to 99% to my ideas.

All I've learned that only way they feel happy is if I talk with them about stuff what they are currently being greatest fans of. Like tv-series that they like. Meh.

I feel like torn apart in between thinking maybe I should be more demanding on them, and tell them that if they wanna be my friend they should do something that I wanna do. Instead of me just going on pleasing about them and talking about their interest.

And like if I tell them I feel tired about talking the same topic and ask them to talk about something else I get the cold treatment and them being compeletely silent and cold towards me claiming "They dont wish to hurt me but they just dont have imagination or idea what to talk about." When I suggest them to talk about stuff I like like raccoons and rabbits they be like "Oh I dont know what I could say or talk abou those." When I suggest them to watch my fave movies etc they say "Maybe someday but I m just too busy watching my own series on re-run".. And I m like Okaaay.

Bah. The worst part is that they are so cute and innocent and cry a lot if I get on mean Rocket Raccoon mode on them. I think I might post more about my Rocket raccoon mode here.