The feeling when you can just watch or close your eyes

It kinda hurts my soul and burns deep in my heart to see when people keep doing stuff that they know is bad for them. There was this one person I mentioned earlier about who needed help with people skills and I could not help them and I told them to search for help elsewhere and I blocked him from everywhere.

First I wanna apologize if talking about this hurts anyone. And I don't want to insult anyone or hurt anyone. I just wish there was something that could be done to this situation to stop it from getting any worse. And at the moment I feel so worried and so lost. I just wish someone out there could help this person out.


Well. I just found a long Twitter topic about him on Twitter telling that he had been annoying dozen of people on Telegram. Eventually, he seemed to join the topic and telling that he was sorry. Of curse he was. I believe he was. But this ain't the first time he has crossed the line with people. I had to ban him twice from my Telegram group within a week because of similar behavior. I know he has mental problems and he probably can't help it but just snap and I'm sure if he was able to understand other people's pain he would not have done stuff. I also lowkey wanna add here the weird stuff that this same guy told my friend about my other friend. How he has been "Thinking a lot about the length growth spree of my other friend and fantasizing about it." even both of my friends are under age and other of my friend does not like being tall at all. The thing is I know this person has at least  Aspergers and maybe some mild mental retardation and he is 28 years old and he lives with his sister. I also know he is not a bad person. Not in a way that he wants to be bad or evil. Or at least I hope so because he told me he just wished he had friends when I was on talking terms with him.

I have met someone bit like him before so I know that he does not mean to harm people. Okay he does, because it's his way of channeling his feelings and when he talks rude shit to people he feels better because he feels that people deserve being mean to because people are mean to him.  I kinda see it as a cry for help. But the worst part is that he is too shy to get actual help. He does not want to tell his sister anything that happens online because he does not want to have a fight with her. To him, the internet is a safe space to escape all the stress of the real world. And there I can relate to him. I too use the internet as a channel to relax and feel safe.

But the thing I m worried about is that if he keeps verbally abusing people and lying then afterward just that "People are meant to me and making shit up".. maybe because during his anger snaps he completely just does not either remember what he just did or does not want to remember the feeling like people are cruel and against him with no reason. But I'm worried that if he keeps making people feel annoyed he will soon be either alone with no friends or getting hauled into court for defamation or stuff.  Like I know that I 've been stupid and talked a really rude way of people and hurt people and I m sorry for it.  I don't wish to talk bad about this person either.  I just want to tell you how I see this all.


At the moment I'm just feeling worried about him and I wish there was a way to bust him to his sister so he could get help from someone who could teach him bit people skills before he messes it up big time. I was thinking of calling it in myself but I don't think the police of Finland can do much when a person lives in the UK. I also know that if I was smart I would just close my eyes and ignore everything so I would not get dragged down with whatever it is.

But like I m feeling really sick and bad because as I m seeing it this person is burying themselves in the dirt of shitpile made of insulting people and then lying to people to get away with it and then finding new people to annoy and insult.


Like when I talked with him he was able to recognize a pattern of him feeling bored and lonely and when he tried to talk to people while bored people soon got angry on him and he did not understand at all why. I told him that maybe it was because he was not able to read people which he replied "I don't need to read people. I read books." which to me tells a lot. This person needs help. But I can not help them. Mostly because I don't have so good social skills either. But I just wish this person would get help before things get any worse for him.


I don't want anyone to go witch-hunting him or being mean on him. I know from experience that people who can't see what they cause won't stop being mean and act stupid if you get mad on them. They need someone to be nice and understanding to them. And someone to explain to them what they are doing is wrong, the same way one would explain to 5 years old.  And I think maybe it would also work best if the person in teaching had an actually studied license for it. Like a doctor or a psychiatrist.

But ya. Ben, if you are reading this; I wanna say that I'm sorry that people are mean to you but they just feel unsafe around you. And I think you really should talk to your sister and get some help before you hurt someone else any more or before you hurt yourself. Please be a smart boy and get help.

Here is the actual Twitter thread that caught my attention.

How to tell person you cant make them happy - How to tell a person that they need to make themselves happy themselves with out burning the friendship

Just to clarify; I myself used to have People skills of Rocket Raccoon when I was 10 years old. I was that annoying over talktive brat that everyone hated. So when I met someone who was like me in a past I made a friend about over 5 years ago, but then it turned out that I was not enough and I could not support the other person like mom when I myself had hard time and I think the other person had already gotten so deeply attached on me taking care of him that they got hurt when I could not no longer be there for them. 

Because of this and because I wanna be smarter and better friend in a future I would love to hear if you know what I should do when I meet an autistic person with special interes and they refuse to talk anything else besides their interest and they want me to be “Nice auntie from internet who always wants to talk about same tv shows 24/7.” I personally got in a fight with a really good friend of mine because I did not know how to handle this when my pet died and I could not be hyper happy and nice to them nor make them understand that I  could not be there for them. Now an ex-friend of mine seems to be taken it badly and is mad on be because of it. I admit I was stupid but I just wanna know if there is a wise way to tell someone that I cant talk about same anime 24/7 when I myself have depresssion and rough time. I dont want to hurt anyone. Please help. 

Like this thing really keeps bugging me. “How to tell someone you cant baby sit them and make them happy with out hurting them?”

Like I feel so bad for not being able to be there for a friend but then I feel angry at him for not understanding me a one bit. And being super salty after noticing I could not be their mom 24/7. Like when ever he needed something I tried to be there beacause I was taught its right thing to do. But I feel such a failure. And I keep thinking if I could have been "better friend for them" and "Maybe if I was better they would have supported me.."

But the sad fact is that their understanding of people was as bad as mine. Or the same that I had when I was 10 years old. 

Atm I just keep thinking that if something similiar happens again, that if someone wants me to be there for them and when I cant be how to make sure they dont throw a tantrum on me and start hating me and telling people how horrible person Im. 

Like I dont wanna hurt anyone. I just cant act as a happy pill towards someone else.

Okay maybe the part that I m really worried about is that since I m no longer being "happy pill" for that person is that what if they keep doing same to someone else. Yes I'm totally okay with people being with other people to cheer themselves up. But I'm scared that if he gets more hurt because I did not know how to handle the situation and I only made it worse for trying to tell him couldly that I could not be a mom, but then again I gave him no substitute mom or anything to cling on. And if he really needs something to cling to then I let him drown. How to keep person safe?

..

Sorry for this rant. I might have some level of heat stroke and I m not thinking clearly. I bet I m gonna regret writing this thing but ya.. I dunno. I just wish I had more people skills myself so I could get better along with people with no people skills.

The only good side out of this situation is that I know no one is ever ready and we all need to learn people skills. And I try to learn not to let anyone get so attached on me that they get hurt when I cant be their rock when they need it.

Ofcurse this does not mean that if someone wants to talk to me and get support I would not be there. But I just could not support this one person when I was down at the bottomn myself. And I could not make him understand it with out him getting hurt. And I wish I knew better how to handle situations like this. 

All I ask if you whom read this know any tips how to handle super sensitive people who have habit of getting near you and acting like you were their mom; How to tell them you arent mom with out them getting mad on you or  them starting to blame you for being a bully over internet.

I really wanna be friends with everyone and I used to be super active at people pleasing before, but now I m trying to learn to put myself at first so I could finally fix my own mental problems. 

The worst part for me in this mess is that I keep  re-living the events over and over again and over analyzing how I could have been better friend, even I got blamed for being horrible friend when I feel the other one did nothing to support me at all. And I know that the other person in this fuze feels like I abandoned him and snapped with out any reason. When all I did was quit pretending happy 24/7.

I admit it was my bad to pretend and now I feel like I hurted a friend by pretending. But then again I feel like I hurted him even more by quitting pretending. I'm so sorry for it all. But in the end there is nothing I can do anymore to change things. I can only try to be smarter at next time and try to tell people head on that I cant be their chat bot or mom 24/7. Thats all that I know to do. But I m sure that someone else here could give me lots of better solutions so please comment down below to tell me?