Today's weather reflecting world

Its seems it started to rain again. Mään. I did cry out for sun keeping me awake at night but I wasn't actually hoping for rain either. And here I notice myself acting like typical stupid human -- Its fun how some of us ( this time me in cluded) is never satifised with the weather. Always either too cold or too hot. Or then there ain't no wind and the air is rough and sharp like road in the contryside with no asphalt on it. So dusty that it makes one puke. Or then there is hot air and wind beating the hot air on your face untill it hurts. Or then its too cold.

When think of it we all have suffered for things I listed above. Many times when you see beautiful holiday island you think "wow this place is  paradise" but when being honest to ourself there is always something wrong. .. And do you know why? My quess is as good as yours but I think its because this isn't paradise. Its fallen world.
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Yes you can see many beautiful things here, and some awesome scenery. And beautiful music.. But also horrible things like war, people dying for either being sick or hungry or then get killed by each other because other one was dating a guy other was interested on. That one was seen in Finnish media couple weeks ago. Two girls who were "doing okay with each other", one gets mad, visits the other's home and kills other because "just happened to get bitch rage mode on" or someting.

Ya. Bros. How ever I try looking this world I just can't make it feel like paradise. When I'm alone, listening good music and eating icecream I think then I can have glimpse of paradise.. But still. Something is missing.

I found my hope for thinking that maybe Jesus does love me and maybe there is heaven for mad furries like myself. But how about you dear reader? What keeps you not getting insane and loosing all hope when the  world around you turns out to be gloomy place? I'm interested to hear your story. Please comment and share your story below.

Or if you are just struggling and going one day before an other like I used to do sometimes and most of my days I still struggle and cry out when I fail. How does that feel? Can you relate anything I wrote here?

-Varjokani

Broken something and feeling sorry.. really deep shit

I managed to destroy my headphone blug's wire again.. Or I think one of my kittens did it. Sad. Well, I knew these would not last long but still bit bitter feeling in the end 'cause these aren't even mine. These are my mom's . Okay I asked her if I could use these but still feeling like I broke something. I told her about this and she did not care. But why still I feel so damn guilty?

And for point a to point b what is being quilty? Why we feel it? Does it make us feel better in the end when we realize we did something bad and can't fix it? Still its considered as good charachter in human beings to feel sorry what they have done.

But however people still do horrible things. Hurt, rape, tease, kill, steal, hurt even more, lie and do all bad things to each others? Why? Whats wrong with people?

I can't think of anything.. I mean why if we feel pain for it why we do it? Why we hurt others if we feel sorry for them. Okay I get it. Some of us are so hurt ourselves that we no more feel sorry for it. We go up to the point when we feel absolutely nothing. I  keep wondering why? Why no one stops it before it goes bad? Or if someone is trying to stop it why I cant see it? Is it because I'm blind and stupid?

Well maybe I'm just being so naive and blind on purpose to protecting myself. But to protect from what? I can't really get it in my head. Its all so complicated. So odd.