Kya owo what is this?

Can we just discuss what happened to DeviantArt's clear theme?
Yes I m sure the new one looks just fine on mobile (haven't tested that out yet because I just woke up and decided to open my computer...) But wait. I took me a while to realize that I did not misspell the URL. The new URL looks so weird. And so creepy.
Also, why did my shift key just did not wanna work a second ago? OwO what is this? I m so confused right now?
Also, I m considering if I should just start posting this flarg to Tumblr because no one except my irl best friend and a stalker is reading this page. Lol.
Then again I don't mind it being just my irl best friend reading this. But a creepy stalker not so much.
And why Im telling you this is I kinda wanna interact with users. I would switch back to vlogging but We have been having roof repairs all day long and I don't wanna flarg the audio up.

Aaand today I m feeling enough of #badhairday to not open the camera and posting to tube anywaays. Also loading good quality vids takes foreeveeer. And I hate my own face. Maybe I should make a post and discuss my low self-esteem again. For some reason discussing and posting about my feelings here helps me to understand myself better and helps me to analyze all the stuff going on my head. I warmly recommend posting a blog to anyone who is feeling like they don't know what to do and how to deal with all the mess on their heads.

Like seriously, this just typing what comes to my mind and went about stuff. Its damn relaxing and damn addicting. I recommend it. Yes, I also know that there is a limit of what I can rage here but I still enjoy doing it. It helps me clear my mind.

But ya. Also, there is the point of me starting a new job-related club activity soon. After being at home I  feel a bit nervous and shy about it. I'm also having bit mixed feelings if I should take Pocky with me because I don't wanna be the "weird kid", but then again no way I m going in there without something to hug if a panic attack strikes out of the blue. It is not like any of the people are there to hug me and help me to calm down when they most likely will just be the reason Im stressed out the first place.
Also note to myself; Clean your fucking keyboard. I just noticed how much dust there is between the keys. Maybe that is the reason for all of the lags. Also an other reminders;
-Do art
-Write the damn fanfic
-Kiss a raccoon

Small info of this year...

Yes I have been lazy with school. Also I have been troubled by not having enough time of my own. Like I have hardly time to study, and then the rest of my time goes when I try to reload myself for the next day. Yes I think most of people just think I m just shittyhead idiot who has no life but they are wrong. I m not idiot. I m just freaking bored of being "like everyone else". I just wanna be me, and this is how Varjokani became to be like it is today. Its 100% result of me being bored and wanted to do something random. Yes, I guess many hate me because of it because in in Finland you just have to be "normal" or then everyone will hate you. Or at least you have be like everyone else. Like part of large flood, and if you arent you are idiot, and stupid. I just guess I m too stubborn headed to act like people wish me to do. It just not me at all. Somehow I feel like if I try to act like everyone else I fail everyone, and I cant act anything else but to be stupid old me. 8-) I think everyone have right to be what they are, but somehow it seems like I dont have that right. But I dont care. I will be me till the very end of my days. And yes, I m being over dramatic but you just have to live with it. Just go away from this page... Oh and I almost forgot. I m planning new project but that is kinda a secret. You can see it later... If I ever get energy to post here when no one reads these posts anyway. :-) -Varjokani

About me in Youtube..

As many of you have seen I have an account at Youtube.com. I have planned to use it as a way to show my art, but I also want to use it for teaching things about art, and drawing. Yes, you have seen some of my art but only a small amount of it. So my question would be "What would you want to see in my account?" Send your answer here... And just to make it clear, it has to be something that I or you would dare to do before your parents so keep all bad ideas inside you okay?
Have nice day! :-)
-Varjokani