schoolwörks

And its half of the week done.. And today we should have all projects returned to teachers to get numbers.

Well I think I m quite lucky then.

Studying last week..

The sun just keeps shining and I find it to almost impossible to keep track of my own mind and thoughts.
I mean I should be editing couple of sound files and I have almost done them all but I find my own mind wandering all the time. I know its part of my ADHD and usually I can control it but lately it has been bit annoying.

I have always used wander in my thoughts when I m sad or something but now I feel bit annoyed. I guess its part of this era that there is only this week studying left before I can rest and the dead part of my brains wants me to sleep..

I say dead because myself I found myself enjoying studying and don't wanna this perioid to end so soon.
But kinda the other side of me wants to rest and draw when other one wants to study. I quess I just have to live with it and luckily soon its time to rest.

Latest news of my summer

The summer has finally fallen in Finland. Its kinda lovely how warm it is outside.
It is like whole new world after that cold and hard winter when you could barely see the sun. Now it seems the sun never goes to sleep but keeps hanging around 24/7. Well I have heard that in Lapland it really happens even never seen it with mine own eyes.

Well soon we will have our summer holiday. Actually now beginning week is the last one. I kinda feel sad because it. Well it is nice to relax and sleep but I have to admit that I m going to miss my class during the summer. We just have the best gang there. Everyone of us is just unique and that makes us "us". The second year media student group middle of nowhere.

I also feel bit sad when I think about it that during these two awesome year our group has become smaller when some of us have failed to keep going and studying. They have come tired because long days at school or then just wanted to do something else instead of studying. Well luckily the main group is still the same even     some people dropped out of the school at the beginning of the year. I kinda feel ashamed because I have already forgotten their names.

But I still want to keep studying editing and coding even I have learned myself my lessons how hard it can get. Maybe my classmates are right and I m mad.. After all I think we all are bit mad.  I just happen to be the one who loves coding Java Script and HTML5.

But what would I tell about my life and happenings..?
Please comment and say aloud what you want to read. :3

I would love to write a lot of things but then I notice I need to go to do couple of ambience thingies for Monday.

Writing more soon..
-Varjokani

Kimba sanoo pöö~

Juu Kimba sanoo pöö teille kaikille ihanille Gosupermodel.fi käyttäjille. :3

Peaceful inside..

So summer has again creeped and sneaked silently to Finland..
Everything is just so calm and peaceful and warm and in the evening I can hear as birds sing. It is just so peaceful and lovely.

Somehow I feel peaceful from inside also because school is soon over.

How can

How can it be possible that when its beautiful summer I end up being ill.?
Its just so unfair.

Time goes faster

Sometimes I wonder how does it possible that time goes so fast. And sometimes I even think if this is the "Biblical" The time will go faster in the end of times because the God is mercyful..-thingie. I just feel like I just have started studying and its already summer. I m sure I can't be onlyone who feels this way but surely someone else has to feel same way even I havent met him/her yet. But then again I feel happy because its summer and I can sleep all day long.. ~<3









                                                                                                              

Count down Gosun modehakuun :3

What happened to human rabbit hybrids?

Yes first there were one in China 2003 and then in USA later  and it was in news. I know they destroyed them but I still would want to  know why there is no  more news of any human rabbit mixing lately..

Its just weird that there is no talking about it. Just like those people would just quit their projects after spending so much money to it.

Why such silence about cloning and mixing humans and animals anyways?

Yes myself I use rabbit as my fursona but I totally found out that kind of mixing bit shocking.

Still at the other  hand I m interested to know what has been happening.

My personalities

When I come to think about myself.. About all sad times I had and all feelings that I  had in my life I feel thinking of how I become what I m. After seeing movie based of life of Truddi Chase, girl who had documented with MPD; multiple personalities disorder I have started to think of my own personality.
There is the part of me that is nice and caring and polite but really really weak from inside and who easily wants to cry. When the other side is ready to be social and nice and is always getting great ideas and inspiration from things around me...

Then I have the warrior side of my persona that sometimes I m ready to fight till death. The warrior type of me is silent and just stares people around me. I dunno maybe I m analyzing myself too hard. I just remember when being in confirmation camp I could not get sleep when others were yelling middle of night. I just rose from bed and stared them because I was too tired to talk.. And they said I looked like I was about to kill them. They were scared and I found it odd.

Maybe I do have many sides of my personalities and I think I should not have any reason to worry about MPD as long as I can remeber all things and don't feel like I m snipped awake from moment that I don't remember what happened.  So I think I m just normal kid but I still find this kind of thinking interesting. Yet I know when I write this all nonsense here I m sure everyone thinks I m stupid. But you know what. I could not care less. Or at least the "warrior" side of me does not care.

An other tough of life walue

What is that makes human life worth anything? Just lets take religion out from the picture and also lets cut out those who claim that life is worth something. Then what is it?

Yep mates it is nothing.. Then we keep thinking and asking why people kill each other. We must value life. But we don't want to do it. We don't want to speak about Christianity or religions. We want to ignore them because that means there is maybe a God and we maybe have to take respond to our actions and do something..

And the worse of it. We are NOT perfect. We are just humans.

Yep. For so many people it is hard bit to bite. We are not perfect. Ofcurse you say that you are perfect but I bet you also have evil toughs like "borrowin" your friends computer game, phone or anything. Even if that comes to your mind you have committed a crime inside your heart. Every single one of us has done it. We are not perfect. Even how much we claim we are.

So that is why it is so hard to think of God. It makes people sad. That also is used reason why "Not teach kids value of life.." and still kids grow up and become killers. What does the world do?
Nothing.

I m really worried about this whole situation because so many can commit school shooting these days. And its really sad. I m not afraid to die but that someone else might get hurt.. Someone who does not know that Jesus loves him or her. I just find it sad.

But what can I do? These days I think that often but still end up doing nothing for it.
What should I do? Should I speak to people about it. I m sure many would say no. Just be quiet and wait till you get some sense inside your head.. But how long can I or anyone wait when I see people turning into somekind of stone in front of the very eyes of mine.
People just become empty from heart. They have so much troubles that they harden their heart.
And then I just have to stand and watch how they unless die or kill someone else.

I m really really worried.
Maybe I m over reacting. Maybe I should not care of anything around me. But that would mean I should harden my own heart.

---

My head is just so full of toughs  that I feel confused and feel like I want to say so many things aloud but then again I come to think if there is any good reason for it. I m pretty sure it helps no one even if I write this text here. Well at the moment I just feel like I want to write and write because of that.

Following the brown rabbit in Skyrim..

And I end up being almost robbed.

And what did I do? I just sneaked upon a rabbit like "Aww..  cuteey" And then bandits are after me and try to rob me. I m smart yes?

North Korean lead morals? Our morals?

Many people wonder what does go on inside Kim Jong Un -if he even thinks of nothing- I m sure about that.

Some might even think that maybe he does what he does because of his father. But do we really think why he does what he does? What are his moralic values of life?

We know that he has done lots of bad things. We all have done bad things. And we know that he is kind of person who does not be scared to put people in jail or kill them if he does not enjoy how "some of people" think.

Why is that? Is it just because he is mad? Nope. I think its more because no one taught him to value life itself. Nonsense you say.  But think of it. If he would keep life and freedom in high value would he try be so hardly what he now is? I m sure he does not.

And where does this way of thinking come from? From Bible?..
Nope. It is more like "Evolution-believing"  :
"We have no reason to be in this planet.. We are worth nothing.." -way of thinking.

And even we have seen this way of thinking effecting our own children in a way that they take a gun with them and shoot their class mates why still no one notices how dangerous is to teach "We have no reason to live.. unless we make it ourself."

Just thinking of it.

I m sure many of you will be disagree with this argument and I m not forcing you to be agree with me. Also I hope you are smart enough to let me have my opinion instead of starting a fight just to tell how wrong I might be.

I believe life is a gift from the God, and this kind of thinking puts us all in danger.

Final count down for this perioid..

I have been really buzy lately. I have been doing my own portfolio lately.

Well I needs to say that now I m sure there is something wrong  with my brains because I just love coding and editing.. Even how annoying it can get I still kinda enjoy it.

I have been learning HTML5 and CSS3 lately and I find it kinda fun also.

The only bad side of my life is that I still need medicines for my depression. And when I tried to take less-effective amount of pills I found that I somehow  felt like wanting to cry many feelings that I had "hidden inside me"..

I find it a good thing but then it came to my mind that what if I have got too addicted to them so I m depended of them and it feels bit scary.

Well I did not have any scary nightmares or anything like that.. or so far  because I don't remember having one unless you count my last night dream as one where  I was late for work time training-job place of mine and was about to drown because of huge amount of water in City alleys and inside a mall I was walking by there.

But I returned to my old amout of them and I think okay now. 

But yes I really feel I should write here more often because I feel it helps me to keep  my head clear from all things that are in my mind. 

Sometimes it just feels like I think I m not even awake even I m. But I suppose everything is a lot better than it was over a year ago because  I m able to walk among people and I m able to study with out panic attacks 24/7. 

Planning to do web layouts

Hi again. I think summer is slowly coming into this dark place in world that we call Finland.. Sun keeps shining but still its kinda cold and chilly wind  makes me feel freezing.

I know that people say that warm sun gives energy but somehow it feels like its draining all my energy.. Maybe it is just the cold weather that makes me feel really tired. Well what it ever it is I still feel kinda tired when I wake up early to go my everyday route to school and studies.

When I came home yesterday I just fell into my  bed and was planning to have "quick naps" that ended up me to sleep till next morning.

My studies are going fine.. I just feel that being kinda tired and feeling lazy is making my studies harder but I think I will manage.

Also the good news are that we keep learning new stuff every day and someday I really can be proud and work for living via doing web-page layouts and even whole pages.

Actually I m thinking starting even doing them now.  Still quite planning how to do the advertisements and payments etc. but I m still making progress in that area.

Hugs from Finland and into next time mates!
-Varjokani

Why we vampires?

Why when sun finally comes out from behind the clouds everyone in my class (including myself) feel like a vapmires and flee for it.

I really dont get people

Why does it happen that some times you first feel really happy about all nice things around you and then you just feel sad..?

And why do I get the feeling that some people don't know how to handle their sadness but blame others for it?

Okay I think we all do that to time to time but somehow I keep wondering why some of us do it more than rest of us? When they feel down they blame you for it.. Like "I feel horrible because of you." Okay its okay to say that aloud but when you do that and still go near that kinda person like you just would want to hurt yourself more I find myself wandering if everything is okay or not?

Maybe it just is that we people are not perfect, even how hard we try to be perfect and awesome we are not. And when some people  notice it they are cool, but some at the other hand get really mad to everyone else around them because those around them did not finish their "Dream world" and keep it standing for them.

..
Well it is hard to say but I really keep wandering it. :)

Useful links for css coding

-  Gradient maker
- Color picker
Flash file linking
-Shadowings

How to create custom mouse icon?

If you wish to create custom mouse icon to your web-page you can do it easily. Just add this peace of code to your css-file.


cursor: url('Your_cursors_name+link.cur'), default;



Link to online .cur convertor can be found here.



Also the code to make it be shown in your blog:

<style type='text/css'>body,a,a:hover{cursor:url(http://www.adress.com/YourCursorsName.cur),progress}</style>

normal day in media.

Just a normal day in media.. You just have fighting fish on your desk because someone wanted to buy it to film it in school studies and then to throw up and kill it in sewers and you just managed to talk them over to give it to you.. Yep. Just normal day in media. I have been trying to keep this fish alive for whole day starting 1pm and now its 5:30 pm and I still feel scared and sorry for this little fellow.