bugs and birds

Hi again. Yes, I m now 21 years old.. but somehow I don't feel one bit smarter or older. Maybe it is a good thing. Maybe it is a bad.
..
Well what is a bad thing that this morning I got bitten by tick. Somehow this little bug had sneaked inside our house because it wasn't anywhere near me when I got to bed last night. Only appeared this morning while I was eating.

I have removed several big ones from our pets but never was targeted myself before.  Man I can tell you it's bite hurts. A LOT: Its like asset poured on your hand at the spot where they bite. Yes, they are small but still hurts. And makes me wanna scratch my hand till it bleeds. *A bad thing*..?

As if normal small Finnish mosqitos weren't eating me alive yesterday. D:


Well since I made my boyfriend buy me Pokewalker I should use it. But how to use it when getting fobia even in side..?

Well world is weirdo place. Maybe I chill down and take it easy later on. But now I'm bit panic. Yes, I went to see nurse on local hospital and she was like "Well don't worryy. If it starts making red and white sircles around ur wound then worry and come back."

I was like okaaay. O:_O

And now I'm like stalking my hand waiting something bad to happen.. I think I'm being bit paranoid, and a lot over reacting.. But then why when I don't react people come to tell me later I should have reacted and gone to see doctor. Like when last week they found out my ears and inner cheeck were infected by the flu. Nice work people.
---...---

Well lets see how this goes. I'll be writing for you more if something more interesting happens.
At the moment I'm at work, Rattata on my pocket. *grins*

Called him Throttle and nyaa... *kelws kawaii nyan aws nyan nyan* ^^¨

Yes, I know most of the people hate Rattata. I know they appear from everywhere and be annoying. But if you ever played ORIGINAL Gold or Silver ( I have them both for Gameboy color) you'll know that the really annoying shit face there who stalks and attacks your with your every step on grass is one called "Hoothoot".
 

  

(Images are from Google.)
And yes, so if you think that for 14 - +20 years old you have rage problems while encountering couple rats be my guest and try original Gold at nighttime. Hehehhee. Only thing you get is that annoying "Wroollolrwroolol rwrool" sound and Hoothoot appearing.

Could swear he actually says "Trolled here I come again bitch!"
-_-

Just in case

And for some reason I'm kinda scared if GSM admins still stalk my blog. Well if you guys do I wanna say "Hi Pia! What's up? Why not getting new hobbie and be honest for kids for a change?"
..
Like no more lying about paying back money for Gosupermodel.fi if site goes down since you aren't going to pay it back. Or so it says on your user agreement page.

But the other hand ur "info about superpass" page claims you will pay back? So wich one is true?
::
But ya. 79% change I'm just imagining things and being paranoid and scared of nothing. But if you guys DO stalk me (I know they stalked me when I had model on the site) plz go and take cold shower and thing up two words. "Honesty" and getting "a new hobby".

Thats all I had for ya folks.

Hurry up get better plz

So I'm atm basicly doing work atm andd counting minutes I can go back to home to sleep the end of my fever away.
..
Well I that should go easy. I just hope I don't pass out. I was supposed to be heatlhy for weekend when I'm going to see family. my granfather and my auntie and my cousin. I have missed them so much. But its damn bad if I can't go near then or hug them. So I wait for this flu to miraciously to go away. Ya, I have antiobiotes. But for so long not looking so good. :(

Also its going to be my birthday at sat. 21. Can you imagine me turning 21 years old and being grown up? Ya. I don't suppose that happens.

Let's play

Let's do small testing with tags. :) If we could get the big fish.

me and the damn flu

Hai there again. Long time no see. Okay well.. It happened again. That damn flu and infection on my throat and ears that strikes me down every single summer.. Always when one is supposed to enjoy the fresh air and go to the beach and run wildy on forest etc. and do all fun stuff I'm forced to take it easy and sleep in bed eating like 5 different pills twice per day. Its damn annoying.

Up to this point none of the doctors can't tell me why every single flu in the universe (okay at least from the people who are in same room with me for like ten seconds) strikes me and for all of people around me I'm only one who is forced to take it easy.

I mean it. "Normal flu" that takes like day to recover for everyone else takes like 1-2 weeks minimal to me to recover. I feel like I'm so done with this stuff. I wanna go out and see friends but nope. I'm told by doctor to sleep and try get the damn fever down. Yes, I had 6 days of duty from work because of this and now I'm back at work. Still feeling bit off.

But I just can't figure out what triggers it..? Why me? Always every single summer? Also getting one during autumn also. 

Ya ya. Pepople tell me to go out and work for my body's ability to resist sickness. But how you resist it when all times you get beamed with flu first time someone sneezes towards you. And for most of the times you don't even need anyone to sneeze at you. Just someone with flu just sits in same room (different ends of the room) is enough to get me infected with it.

As a kid I was tested for all kind of allergies and they found none. Now I would not count on it. But its not allergy. Always when I go see doctor I got BAD infection on my inner ears and my inner cheeck chambers are filled with snot and also badly infected. .. What ...? What do I do wrong? Ya, I'm supposed to flush it daily with hot water and ocean salt. But I don't wanna. It hurts a lot. And last time I did it or tried to do it I felt just so much pain. It just hurted so damn much and I could not see it helping one thing to get my nose burn while  my throat and ears were already burning with pain.. Or my head was. Not my ears.

Funny thing. When ever I get infection in my ear only things I notice is "the pressure" inside my head and I feel bit drowsy and sleepy. Also I feel like I'm more angry to people. But no pain inside my ears. None unless I stick something inside them. Like Medicine. Then it hurts a lot. But other than that I just don't feel the pain there. I think its main reason why I never detect it in time.

I've heard other people that during infection inside inner ear they have pain. I just feel odd on my head. Maybe it is because I got so many of these that my head actually become numb for the pain.- 

---
But ya. I think I'm done with this flu and I hate it, but for my bad I feel that IT loves me and always comes back. I had a boy like that in confirmation camp. And he was annoying! Stalked me and wanted me to date him.

#OnlyRabbitProbemos

I was just thinking that I love streaming and being social as long I have quick escape route clear in case things get rough. Like pause stream button or shutting down the computer.
ehehhe.

But still I for most of the time I'm home also my parents are and they watch tv with full volume and kill my ears. Also they make me walk dogs 30mins x 3 per day. Also they wanna me do all random chores they can think of.

So basilcy no time to edit, or no peace and quiet to stream stuff.. Or when I finally have I'm so damn tired I just wanna sleep.

But I have to admit I would love to live like Pewdiepie. I mean not needing to go work but work from home and product media for other people. And being social from home. But ya. No such luck.

First of I would need to buy my own house and then my own food. And have money for bills. That requests of looots of money.  So I would need to get good job first, but then again I wanna work online and do stuff online. But then again I need money for it, but I kinda don't get any money before I do it.

Life is hard broskies. Try live with it.

Maybe I'll figure out something. Ya, I know. Its not like I would be able to live just with my blog's adds. While none actually ever sees them because everyone uses addblock. I also use it on youtube sometimesh.. Heheh. So I don't blame you.

And just in case you wanna know more of my problemos you can follow me twitter and Tumblr.

And speaking of Tumblr I did whole rework with my theme. Also made own account for Räävis, so I could keep Räävis directed stuff better organized and so you bros would have change to send him fanmail. Yes. I know you want to spam Räävis with fanmail.

His address is the same:
angstingmouse.tumblr.com/

Meh

Yay! New week has begun. But I feel weird. Yesterday I had fricking weird headache and today I notice that I see everything bit blurry and feel tired. And feel like my nose is stuck with slime.. again. I don't know if I'm starting to get some illness again. I hope not. Because I 'm too tired for it.

Well I tried washing my eyes at work and they feel sore. But I try     work normal today. Maybe I'm just too tired for somereason. It was quite much sunligth last night.. so I dunno. But if this continiues I dunno what to do. Yap. I got it from my mom that I always think I'm okay until I'm half dead.  But other than feeling damn sleepy and my eyes are sore I feel competely normal and okay.

..
so I think I m okay. Well lets see tomorrow. I just felt like writing about this. And yes, while being at work I notice myself starting to be more me again. Or at least I haven't felt lately that I would have personal me changing within me. Or I feel I think of the times same way all the time. My feelings haven't changed as it was different me for a week. I dunno if its a good thing or a bad one.

But yah. See ya. :)
-Varjokani

So much hate

So the clear thing as mud is the fact that the weather hates me. When I decide to dress up warmly its hot and I'm dying. Then If I leave my fave hoodie home I freeze. This isn't just working. And I'm getting to the point I end up being really annoyed by it.

Why even I read and check weather reports I still get into trouble.

I'm drawing again.. lol

Oh man  I dont wanna do work. All I wanna do is do linearts for this. T_T

Today's weather reflecting world

Its seems it started to rain again. Mään. I did cry out for sun keeping me awake at night but I wasn't actually hoping for rain either. And here I notice myself acting like typical stupid human -- Its fun how some of us ( this time me in cluded) is never satifised with the weather. Always either too cold or too hot. Or then there ain't no wind and the air is rough and sharp like road in the contryside with no asphalt on it. So dusty that it makes one puke. Or then there is hot air and wind beating the hot air on your face untill it hurts. Or then its too cold.

When think of it we all have suffered for things I listed above. Many times when you see beautiful holiday island you think "wow this place is  paradise" but when being honest to ourself there is always something wrong. .. And do you know why? My quess is as good as yours but I think its because this isn't paradise. Its fallen world.
..
Yes you can see many beautiful things here, and some awesome scenery. And beautiful music.. But also horrible things like war, people dying for either being sick or hungry or then get killed by each other because other one was dating a guy other was interested on. That one was seen in Finnish media couple weeks ago. Two girls who were "doing okay with each other", one gets mad, visits the other's home and kills other because "just happened to get bitch rage mode on" or someting.

Ya. Bros. How ever I try looking this world I just can't make it feel like paradise. When I'm alone, listening good music and eating icecream I think then I can have glimpse of paradise.. But still. Something is missing.

I found my hope for thinking that maybe Jesus does love me and maybe there is heaven for mad furries like myself. But how about you dear reader? What keeps you not getting insane and loosing all hope when the  world around you turns out to be gloomy place? I'm interested to hear your story. Please comment and share your story below.

Or if you are just struggling and going one day before an other like I used to do sometimes and most of my days I still struggle and cry out when I fail. How does that feel? Can you relate anything I wrote here?

-Varjokani

Gosun ulkopuolella?

Taas tulee kohta viikko täyteen ilman Gosua. Joo yhä tuntuu haikealta ja oudolta mut joo. Toisaalta sitä rupeaa miettimään miten jokainen meistä on jatkanut elämäänsä ja harrastuksiaan. Ja mikä meissä on muuttunut.

Mulle oli omasta mielestäni iso askel kun uskalsin omalla nimelläni käydä sanomassa hei tuonne Gosun Face-ryhmään. Joo vaikutan aika monen mielestä seurankipeältä ja sosiaaliselta otukselta, mutta ne jotka mut oikeesti tuntee voi kertoa että mitä enemmän höpisen sen enemmän mua pelottaa. Tai siis peitän juttelemalla turhanpäiviäistä roskaa sen että mua pelottaa hirveästi ihmisten lähellä (Varsinkin omalla nimellä Tuntemattomien lähellä). Ja siten myös kokeilen ihmisten tapaa suhtautua läsnäolooni. Joo mulla on yhä eläimellisiä piirteitä jäljellä joista oon tänne purkanut lähinnä enkuksi. Mut siis lyhyesti koulukiusaaminen + valehtelevat ihmiset = paniikkihäiriöinen otus joka pelkää kaikkia ja kaikkea.

Mut joo itsestä toisaalta tosi mahtavaa miten oon pariin upeaan ja ihanaan ihmiseen nyt tutustunut paremmin kuin koskaan jos Gosua ei oltaisi suljettu. Joo te ihanat tunnistatte kyllä itsenne. Puhuin teille viimeksi eilen illalla ja tänään aamulla. :P

Mutta hei. Joo netisivuprojekti on yhä kesken (anteeksi) mutta valmistuu kokoajan.. hitaasti. Tällähetkellä VIELÄKIN pitää väsätä ulkoasua. Mutta yritän saada sen tehtyä. Lupaan. Ja kun Candykitten palaa conista me ruvetaan tosiaan töihin.. (eikun nukkumaan). Joo  ollaan laiskoja ja sillon kun on vapaa-aikaa ollaan töistämme tosi uuvuttuja. :(

Mut ei aijota luovuttaa. Aijotaan tehdä teille ihana forkka jossa hölistä nikin kanssa ja viettää laatuaikaa. Ja mahdollisesti jotain peliäkin ollaan suunnittelemassa. :P

Mutta hei kertokaa ja kommentoikaa miten teillä menee?
Erityisesti mua kiinnostaa miten teillä joilla ei ole Facea / jotka ette ole Gosun faceryhmässä menee? On iso ikävä kaikkia ihania Gosukavereita. :(

Joo Gosu oli mulle kuin perhe. Ei siitä pääse yli eikä ympäri. Niin hyvässä kuin pahassa.

the sunlight and panic attacks

Damn its getting to the point its impossible to fall to sleep when the sun never seems to set down. That leads to the main question of this morning. Why do humans be alfraid of the dark? Yes I don't like it either when I sing, hop and dance around forest in winter and suddenly there is huge male elk stalking me 3,4 meters away from me. Yes, I will shout and scream and bolt trying to make a run for it.
..
but other than that I don't get it. How can some people sleep with the light on? Yes, I keep my eyeshader-thingies on when I sleep. They are peace of cloth that has "sweet dreams" written on them. And you just wrap them around your backside of your head so they cover your eyes. I think you can get them from airplanes.. but mine are from supermarket.

Ya. I m no judge here but I just wish I could learn from people who can just relax and fall a sleep where ever they are standing or sitting. Only situations I can do that is when I'm overworked and my brains just shut down like Windows 8 system when it needs system updating. But I'd call that passing out. Not sleeping. Because usually when I sleep I decide it before I do it that "okay now I'll sleep.."

But ya. Good morning. Finally its friday! And tomorrow I can sleep.. oh I almost forgot. I can't because my friends having graduating party tomorrow and day after tomorrow my other pall is having Birthday party. Ya. Fun. I know. But for someone like me who has hard life behind me its not so easy. I can be near humans yes. But after I do it I need to reset myself and sleep and take it easy and rest. And have time with myself.. and my pillow and planket. :3

After having long days at work I'm bit worried how it all will turn out. Specially when I know my friends yes, but they are sure to invite there people who I don't know and who don't know me. Ya. Thats kind of situations really can make me tired. I m not sure why but I think its someting to do with the fact I have background of being terrefied and scared all humans. I just haven't been able to trust humans for so long time. Yes, I m learning to do it. But the past is just hunting me.. like shadow. And at this point I wanna scream and kick and bite and yell "FUCK OFF! I wanna be normal! Let me be!" but the past still has a hold on me. Ya, I know most of humans have no intenion to hurt me or whatsoever but I still feel kinda nervous when people around me. I love people and love talking to people.. but something there makes myself wonder why when I love it so much why it still makes me feel so tired and scared.


I have told couple of things around me that I have panic attacks and phobia for humans. And I don't trust humans and I don't like be around many people and I feel ackward in social situations. They all usually are like "Oh really? O_O" or "But you seem so brave and talktive atm. How is that possible".

Ya. The annoying side of it is that I have habitat to cover my panic with talk and I usually never shut up when I start talking and laughing with people. But from inside I keep feeling tense and weak and just usually wait for something to break and trigger my panic attacks.

Ya. I think my panic attacks are the main reason why I feel that way. But since I have meds and haven't got so bad attacks for while I wonder what I'm so scard of?

..
Nya. I'm bad at this kind of stuff. Everyone seems to think I'm easy to make friends with. But I'm scaring humans .. and most of the time hating them all for being so scary and so humans.

Well somehow writing this stuff makes me feel better so I think I ll be writing this more and more. I feel so relieved after writing this.

Horrorstory: Nightshadow, the cursed one

This text is 100% improvised and 100% fiction. None were harmed while writing this. And I'm not recommeding any of u to read any part of this. Its part of my old story re-done and improvised.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
______________________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sky is darkening around me. I feel lonely.. and so cold. I feel like losting last rips of my senses as darkness falls over me. I try keep breathing and staying awake. But its impossible. I can't feel the pain anymore. I have felt too much of it. So I cant feel any no more. I smile. Finally.. Finally its time for the grand ending. -- But how much did it cost. How many times I was scared for this. Many for sure. But now it finally was the end. I felt so calm and almost happy for it. finally. No more pain or conspiracies around me. Finally.

The darkness closes in and I fell a  deep sleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I open my eyes. I'm silently coming to my senses again. I feel like would suddenly fallen into sleep after long day at doing something hard.  I'm running. The sun keeps hovering over me. I'm thirsty. What happened? Why m'I running? What just happened? Where m I? I turn my head as I run to see whats behind me. Bad mistake. I fall. I feel something sharp beating over my face. Branches and trees hit me in a second I stop looking where I'm runnin. I struggle trought them  with cursing and spitting needles from pinetrees as I run. Or struggle. At this rate running is impossible. I get clear of the worst bush and start running again. I turn around again to see if there is something behind me. I don't remember anything for couple last seconds. I m confused, and scared.

I get struct and hit again. But this time its different. Its something soft ... and furry. I fall down with it. I feel something metallic and cold being held against my neck. My heart starts racing even more. 'Shit.. I'm done for'.
---
.....

//

Want me to continiue? Maybe I will if you share this and comment this. :)

Immanuel - King of the Jungle

Listening atm. I so wanna have time to translate these songs for you. maybe I have at some point.

Deep forgotten memories - trying to catch them while writing random stuff

Its funny how when it silent and there is none to talk with I feel bored. But as soon there are people around me I feel tired and all energy inside my just burn up like leaf dipped in gasoline and then struck in firepit until there is nothing left.

But then I love meeting people and talking with them. But why I'm still scared of people? Why? None hurted me for while? Yes, I have been bullied and threatened in real life in my past. If you read my old posts you'll find out I had quite bad derpression (and yes, I'm still eating meds for it). But I just keep wondering how long this is going to last.

I have been at work like 5 weeks soon and I keep wondering why even everyone here are so nice why I sometimes feel like getting burnout just because there are poeple near me. Ya. I usually (like atm) listen music from my headphones so I could keep myself focused on the things I do. Ya. But why being near humans make me so tired?

I just wish I could dive deep inside my head and figure out whats the problemo this time. And yes, I still sometimes get the feeling like sometimes I'm me and sometimes I'm someone else. Its not like I forget my name and had OCD or multiple person in my head that don't have clue of of each others. And I think I can always control myself. But somehow its bit scary when I wake up morning and for now reason  notice speaking to my mom "Meow meowgrr.." with no reason.

And then she is like "what?" And I m like Eerm. nothing. It only happens when I'm tired. Sometimes then I with out noticing start sneaking and growling. Its like some reflex for staying safe. But since haven't done it for while and this morning did it at my own home and on my way to toilets I'm quite confused. And yes, it seems I finally m starting to get to the point where I m starting to dive inside my own heart and head. And soul. I dunno if its vise to write these things here, and I dunno if half of them are actually happening. I also dunno if I'm kinda feeding them and making situation sound worse than it is.

..
Its just when I start typing and forgot everything around me I feel like I can see things differently. And when I keep writing my toughts down  and like trap part of my head's content in this text. It makes analyzing myself easier. Ya. Sorry for this all shit here. I'm pretty sure none of you actually are interested in this. But I also feel I needs to start keeping track of my acting again.

Maybe this way I could go at the beginning point of my traumas and all bad that has been happening. When I try go there I feel like it just slips trough my fingers and dissappears and the tought is gone. And I feel like I m forgetting something really important atm. But.. but I cant tell what it is.

All I know I have feeling I'm getting close of something. Even loosing it all the time.

And I think I go eat something now and contiune my works after it. And then if manage get something posted here.

And yes. my co-parter at work just showed up and asked if I would go eat with him. Well I think I have to. The faded away memory I was remembering a while when I wrote this thing just dissappeared, and now I just keep wondering why did I open text editor again.. and what the heck I was writing in a first place.

Feeling so confused. Usually I remember why I statrted writing but now.. nope. Scary.

Eeks!

Someone actually reads this? EEKS! *Scary*

Okay I wanna thank you all for supporting me and reading my posts. You make me so happy. *hugs* :3
It means me a lot. Ty. <3

--
Eli kiitos kaikille ihanille stalkkereille jotka on tällä viikolla lukeneet mun blogia. :3

何が私をリラックスして良い感じですか？日本語はそれのために良いです。

あなたたちは、実際にこれらを読めば、私は知りませんか？か否か？私は知りませんよ。私は誰かが実際にそれを読んでいましたでしょう願っています。しかし、私は気にしないでください。私はまだナンセンスを書いて大好きです。それはちょうど私を助けます。私は良い感じになります。私の頭の上に起こっている何かを書き込みます。私の頭は、すべての乱雑と変人です。そして、この世界は私のためにあまりにも面倒で変人です。私はあなたたちとそれを共有する必要があります。それは私が良い感じになります。だから、私は誰かが実際にこれを読み込むかどう私はそれにもかかわらず、このようなものを書いていきますと思いますか？そして、はい、私は、Googleの翻訳を乱用愛する深い行きたいとき。それは私がクスクス笑いになります。そして、日本は美しい言語です。私はそれを勉強していますが、私の悪いのために自分のスキルは、私が翻訳外で、このテキストを書くことができることがまだそれほど良いものではありません。しかし、私はまだたくは世界中の人に達します。
それは私が良い感じになります。話すように。それは私が安全に感じさせます。現実の世界とは異なり。私はあまりにも多くの人々を参照してください場合は、実際の言葉で、私は疲れて、ちょうどたい非表示になります。..今まで私が執筆、フィンランド語、英語、日本語を開始する必要がある場合、はい、私はまだ決めていないのですか？
私は、これらの言語のすべてが大好きです。私は主に直接フィンランドの人々に話をしたいときに多分ほとんどが、私はフィンランド行います。そして、その後、他の状況は、私は英語を使用しています。私はちょうどたい変更が振り返ると、それに同情する必要が出てと私の頭の外にすべてのものをドロップしたとき、私は日本のやる瞬間に思います。私は知りませんよ。それを使用すると、私はリラックスしになることを日本語で非常にかわいいものがあります。すべての「neeh "" KYAは "私は笑顔になります。
しかし屋。未来が保持しているかを見ることができます。日本語もっと勉強することを約束します。だから、誰かが実際にいくつかの日には、この混乱を読んで、それを理解することができました。

Chocolate fixes everything? Right? Right?

Well yes, since its "that time of the month" and I'm damn tired I decided to drink some chocolate coffee and hot chocolate and now I feel brilliant. :-D

At the moment I feel like there ain't thing that hot chocolate could not fix. Well now all I got is to wait till the sugar stops working and running trough my brain and I get down from being high on sugar rush. Eew. Not gonna happen soon. But bros if hot chocolate ain't working you don't use it enough. ;-)

"Jos kaakao ei korjaa ongelmaasi, et käytä sitä tarpeeksi"

So I thinks it end of this lesson, or is it? Want some more? Well maybe later. But now I have to consentrate on my work. And yes, since I m not so keen on spamming this stuff on my Facebook account with my own name on it I spam it here. So enjoy. :P

Weird feeling in the morning

*yawns* Goohooodoodh moorning *yanws*
..
Well thats all I can say atm. For somereason I feel bad. My head is sore and my throat feels like I got bunch of kitten hair and slime stuck inside it. I keep thinking what did I eat this morning. Just normal bread with some salad dressing. Ya. I eat that stuff. Not because I'm lazy but I think it tastes like chicken. And now when I type it outload I see how stupid it sounds. Well too lazy to erase it. 

...
But still I feel like I was tired or drunken or something. Like I was to fall a sleep and pass out in any seckond. Its odd. Maybe this is what people call burnout? Yay! Finally!.. Nope.

Well I still try work as hard as I can. See ya around. Loving ya. 
-varjokani 

laiska?

And again when I feel I had time to do something creative I find myself first sleeping, then playing Osu and then just surfing around web to find Pokemon episodes to watch.

..
"People call me lazy even I did nothing (wrong)" as they say in Finnish. :-D

But I quess that is what working is.

Fashion and being me

Fashion for Passion...? Ya for Passion of the Christ.

..
For somereason I get reflex-like bad feeling and feel sick when ever I hear the word "fashion". I just don't get it. Okay. For myself its most important that my clothes feel good and look nice for my taste. I don't give damn about if they are okay by fashion. Or at the other hand if someone says I look cool and I have good fashion skills and I'm wearing trend clothes you might be quite sure I destroy the peace of clothes first time I get the change. I dunno. I just somehow feel like I was allergic to it. Maybe I'm.

..
And whats the big who wha about what people look like anyhow? Okay I get it its not right if you wear trash bag and dog poop on you but other than that I'm not interested. Ya. Just popped to my mind to write about this thing since there seems to be so many fashion centered blogs and people around. And also I just keep wondering if I should change my point of view. But since I got no reason for it I think I'm not doing it. Not today at least. Maybe tomorrow. Or I dunno. Hehe.

But ya other thing I don't get when people don't like themselves and try look like someone else. Like some movie star or film star or charachter from some book. I get it people in movies are beautiful. But so are you. Every one of us is beautiful. In our own way. We all are unique and important. So if you don't look like every averange movie star just be happy. You aren't mass production and cheap copy cat. You are you and perfect the way you are. That is the point and thing that makes each one of us valuabe and unique. We are we and there is no way of replacing any of us.

Humans are unique and I think thats how it should be. But somehow we are scared of it?
Well Maybe I quit this typing now and make an other post about being scared of it.

Broken something and feeling sorry.. really deep shit

I managed to destroy my headphone blug's wire again.. Or I think one of my kittens did it. Sad. Well, I knew these would not last long but still bit bitter feeling in the end 'cause these aren't even mine. These are my mom's . Okay I asked her if I could use these but still feeling like I broke something. I told her about this and she did not care. But why still I feel so damn guilty?

And for point a to point b what is being quilty? Why we feel it? Does it make us feel better in the end when we realize we did something bad and can't fix it? Still its considered as good charachter in human beings to feel sorry what they have done.

But however people still do horrible things. Hurt, rape, tease, kill, steal, hurt even more, lie and do all bad things to each others? Why? Whats wrong with people?

I can't think of anything.. I mean why if we feel pain for it why we do it? Why we hurt others if we feel sorry for them. Okay I get it. Some of us are so hurt ourselves that we no more feel sorry for it. We go up to the point when we feel absolutely nothing. I  keep wondering why? Why no one stops it before it goes bad? Or if someone is trying to stop it why I cant see it? Is it because I'm blind and stupid?

Well maybe I'm just being so naive and blind on purpose to protecting myself. But to protect from what? I can't really get it in my head. Its all so complicated. So odd.

kesää vai väsymyyttä

Niinpä taas sitten. Uusi päivä ja uudet kujeet. Saa nähdä mitä nyt on tiedossa?
Sää on muuttunut yllättäen hyvinkin aurinkoiseksi, ja mielestäni hieman outoa että mitä aurinkoisempi ja kirkkaampi sää, sitä väsyneemmäksi itseni tunnen?


Ehkä se on vain tottumuskysymys että olenko tottunut aurinkoon? Luulisi sen kuitenkin piristävän, eikä väsyttävän. Kuitenkin aurinkoa on riittänyt ja pian kai alkaa kesälomakin. Ainakin suurimmalla osalla ihmisistä joten luultavasti saan keskittyä ja olla rauhassa töissä ilman kamalaa puheryöppyä.

Viikonloppu ainakin nyt tulee olemaan täynnä kaikkea kivaa ohjelmaa kun on yhden kaverin valmistujaisjuhlat ja toisen synttärit. Saa nähdä ehdinkö nollaamaan itseäni viikonloppuna ollenkaan.

Joo kai se masennus ja ahdistuneisuus vieläkin painaa että jos ympärillä liikaa ihmisiä joille pitää puhua ja pitää keskittyä kaikkeen ympärillä olevaan väsähdän hetkessä. No sen näkee sitten.

Hiya there! :)

So I quess after lots of Finnish boring posts that none seemed to care about I'm pretty sure everyone is wondering what I have been doing. Yep. I posted some stuff here Finnish because Finnish people were telling me that they wanna read my blog but can't read English well enough to read my posts in English. Well now they have it. But ya. Don't worry. I still try post with both languages.

But ya I'm still kid in a heart, still annoying and still me. And still furry.  I  still don't have any plans to grow up. Even I have work these days. I work at the moment in small Finnish media-company helping them with their huge arhcirstery of photos. Also translating stuff, and drawing. (I love drawing).

Ya I haven't had time to be so active in dA etc. as I would be liked because these days I woke up 5:30AM and leave the house at 7:00AM to go to buss so I'm somehow at work around 9:00AM. Ya. We got "Good puplic connections with public transportion everywhere.." not.

But ya. I'm at the moment still working for my web site/forum/game project. Trying to make it soon kinda finished.. but when I come home I usually just want to sleep. Or then talk in skype with friends.

But Ya. I think I might have summer holidays coming soon so I might get couple days of so I could start being more active. But I just want you all to know that you are awesome and I love you.

But ya. Please comment and share your opinion and tell me what you want me to post here and wich parts of my life you are interested most.

Okay I just want to post things that you would be interested in. But I also do this for fun so lets see if I do all your way. But maybe. Only way to find it out is to post it. :)

Musiikkiah..

Kuuntelen tässä ranskankielistä

soundtrackia ja pakko sanoa että vaikuttaa työmotiiviin positiivisesti. Tai itselle sellanen kunnon Epic-feeling kun tekee töitä. Musiikilla ja sen kuuntelulla on ainakin itsellä tosi positiivinen vaikutus siihen miten työtäni jaksan tehdä. Ja jaksanko vai en? Ja mielialaan myös. Suosittelen lämpimästi kaikkia joilla vaan on tilaisuus töissä kuunnella musiikkia tekemään sitä. Tietenkin täytyy varoa ettei vahingossa käy niin ettei tee töitä, vaan kuuntelee pelkkää musiikkia.

Ja joo tämä nyt vaan oli tällainen lyhyt ylistyspostaus Alan Menenille jonka käsialaa tämäkin ihanuus on. Tai siis ainakin yritin kirjoittaa lyhyesti. Mutta jo nyt huomaan epä-onnistuneeni ja pahasti. Hahahah. No kestäkää.

Ja sanokaas muuten että minkalaiset asiat teitä kiinnostavat? Mitä minun pitäisi postata tänne? ;-)
Ideat otetaan vastaan.

Ylistys menneisyydelle ja huokaus tulevaan

Nyt viikko ilman gosua takana ja tunnen itseni hemmetin ylpeäksi itsestäni, ihan sillä etten ole langennut ostamaan superpassia vaikka hyvä ystäväni ja rakas vihamieheni Sinfonia (Gosukäyttäjä) vannotti sen nimeen että kyllä mä sen passin vielä lankean ostamaan.

Kaikkein oudoimmalta tuntuu se kun Gosussa on tottunut tyhjentämään päätään vähän samaan tapaan kuin täällä blogissa. Tai täällä blogissa yleensä enkuksi, ja Gosussa suomeksi. Eikä tänne kaikkia pikkujuttuja ole koskaan kirjoitellut. Lähinnä vaan mietteitä ja ajatuksia. Mut tuntuu siltä että nyt ois kamalasti tosi turhaa ja tarpeetonta roskaa asiaa ihmisille ja tekisi mieli höpistä kaikesta kaikkien kanssa. Ja sitten herää siihen todellisuuteen että ei. Ei vaan enää pysty. Ja se jotenkin tuntuu oudolta. Okei ehkä mä tosiaan olin Gosuriippuvainen. Jotenkin on sellanen olo kuin oltaisiin kieli katkaistu suusta ja puhumisesta tehty yhtäkkiä mahdottomuus ja sellanen asia mihin ei enä kykene. 

Ja muutenkin tässä mietin että miten ihmeessä yhdellä nettisivulla voi olla niin syvä ja jälkiä jättävä vaikutus ihmisiin. Ja miten se yhdistää ihmisiä. Olen itse Gosun kautta tutustunut mahtavaan porukkaan ja ihaniin ihmisiin. Oonotäti, ja nuhistäti tuutte aina olemaan iso osa mun sydämessä. En unohda teitä! :)

Mut joo. Eteenpäin on mentävä. Mä vaan aina oon ollut siinä aika huono. Okei kenelle mä valehtelen. Tosi huono. Sellanen surkimus joka jää miettimään ja nakertamaan samaa asiaa kunnes joku järkevämpi ilmaantuu paikalle ja komentaa lopettamaan siihen tyyliin että minä luikin sängyn alle piiloon ja mietin sitten että mitä nyt tuli tehtyä väärin? Joo aika typerää. Mut itse oon aina rohkea niin kauan kun mulla on pakotie selvänä, mut heti kun tulee umpikuja vastaan tai ongelmia panikoin ja sekoan.

Siinä mielessä tunnen älyttömän paljon sympatiaa ja samaistumista Ruohometsän kansa -kirjan Isopää nimiseen hahmoon. Suoraviivainen ja ja rohkea tapaus kunnes tulee joki vastaan. sitten se panikoi. Mutta toisaalta kun joelle ilmaantuu koira joka yrittää tavoittaa Isopään kavereita Isopää käy vetämässä sitä turpaan ennen kuin ui vastarannalle. Oli se järkevää tai ei. 

Välillä toivoisi etten olisi niin impulsiivinen ja helposti innostuva ja järkyttyvä persoona. Ja muutenkin tunteet saisivat vaihtua vähemmän. Sitten ei ehkä tätä masennuslääkitystäkään tarvittasi. Mutta minkäs teet.? Et yhtään mitään. Se on osa mua että tunteet koetaan vahvoina ja eletään täysillä. 

Ja joo pakko vielä kiittää Gosun käyttäjiä siitä että heidän kauttaan ( tai siis) Gosun kautta oon oppinut olemaan oma itseni ja olemaan välittämättä siitä mitä ihmiset ympärillä ajattelee. Tokihan musta edelleen ois kiva jos kaikki tykkäisi ja haluaisi olla kavereita mutta ei. Jos joku ei halua viihtyä mun seurassa, ja pitää mua tyhmänä, (sehän nyt on vaan fakta että olen tyhmä) niin pitäkööt. Oon hullu idiootti jolla on ADHD, ja hemmetin ylpeä siitä.

Ja aijon elämääni jatkaa.. "..Aitoon Kohokin tyyliin ", Kuiskasi Isopää hiljaisella ja karhealla äänellä."

-Varjokani

//

Voiton puolella?

Joo en siis edelleenkään ole ostanut Gosuun mitään superpassia enkä aijo ostaa.
Pakko vaan vielä ragettaa tämän verran;

Mut siis joo Gosuhan on nyt 10e/90pv järjestelmällä toiminnassa eli maksa ja saat käyttää.

Kun tästä informoitiin puhuttiin että JOS gosu kaatuu rahat saa takas, ja käyttöehtoihin PITI tulla muutos. Yhä siellä vaan lukee:

"11.3

Näiden käyttäjäehtojen muutosta ei pidetä palveluun pääsysi ja/tai superpassitilauksesi irtisanomisena.
11.4

Jos watAgame päättää sulkea goSupermodelin, saat asiasta tiedon vähintään 30 päivää ennen sulkemista. Nämä käyttäjäehdot hyväksymällä hyväksyt myös, että sulkeminen tarkoittaa, että menetät profiilisi, mallisi, kaiken sisällön, palvelut ja mahdolliset superpassipäivät. Lisäksi luovut oikeudestasi hyvitysten pyytämiseen. "

Joo. Eli mä haistan tässä palaneen käryä ja rutosti. Ihan siksi että kohderyhmänä on 10-15 vuotiaat lapset joille, kuten mulle Gosu pitkään oli paikka jossa purkaa pahaa oloa ja elämää anonyymisti ilman aikuisten huomaamista.

Mut mitä mieltä te olette? Joo kaipaisin et joku mua fiksumpi ottais kantaa tähän mut mä vaan niin näen punasta kun a) lapsilta vaaditaan rahaa, b) maksa tai et pääse ees lukee forkille c) maksa tai me poistetaan sun käyttäjä ja sun 4-5 vuotta keräämä vaatehuone katoaa.

---
++ Lisäepäilyttävyys;;
Mainoksia ei poisteta
sivun koodivirheitä ei korjata
Sivua ei uudisteta jotta saataisiin uusia käyttäjiä.

Kysymys; Mihin ne rahat menee? -_-''

----


Joo mun veikkaus on et Gosun ylläpito haluu kääriä rahat ja lähteä lätkimään. 

Outo ja tyhjä olo

Okei lets face it.. Tuntuu tosi oudolta, tyhjältä ja turhaantuneelta kun ei enää voi mennä purkaa ja selvittämään päätä Gosuun. Joo kai mä voisin maksaa siitä mut ylläpito sen verran epäluotettava ja kieron oloinen ettei tee mieli heittää rahoja hukkaan.

Toivon vaan etten ole ainoa. No tuleepahan tää blogi taas enemmän käyttöön ja palvelee taas alkueperäistä käyttötarkoitustaan. Eli tänne luultavasti sitten tulevaisuudessa vuodan kaiken. Nauttikaa! :-)

Aijotteko maksaa Gosusta

Aijotteko maksaa Gosusta

Pikkujuttu Gosusta

Jos mulla olis energiaa ja jaksamista tekisi kyllä mieli selvittää gosun ylläpidolta että miksi mallini poistettiin ja selittää niille etten minä kyllä mitään yhteystietoja levitellyt.
Hommasta tekee hauskemman se että mä nimenomaan tein aiheen jossa harmittelin tilannetta (jossa Cela oli paineen alla) ja osoitin sääliväni Celaa. Tämä aihe poistettiin samoihin aikoihin kuin mallini.
Toisaalta en usko Gosun ylläpidon kykenevän rehtiin toimintaan saati järkevään keskusteluun joten taidan antaa olla. Mutta myönnän että ketuttaa koska mielestäni mallini poistettiin ilman pätevää syytä.  Ja siis Somebody_ :n malli on yhä Gosussa vaikka hän kirjoitti pariin otteeseen watAgamen johdon nimen foorumille. Minä taas en.. Kunhan linkkasin päivää aikaisemmin lehtiartikkelin jossa haastateltiin watAgamen johtoa Momiosta.

--
 Gosutuksesta kun tullut paha tapa ja näin. Mut kai sitten pitää keksiä uusi harrastus ja keskittyä sen oman sivuprojetktin alpha-vaiheen viimeistelyyn.

Ja siis uutta mallia en ole aikeissa tehdä saati maksaa Gosusta ihan sillä että en koe että ylläpito osaa olla asiallinen tai suhtautua yhtään mihinkään ilman omia tunteenpurkauksiaan.

Meanwhile in Finland "Pay or we take ur pixels kids"

Now when you read this Google translated text remember that Gosupermodel.fi is k3 site for kids aged 7-15 as main target group.

"Two options for goSupermodel

As you already know, we have cut down a lot of our resources in terms of goSupermodel. We have ended up with campaigns and the like to save money. It has helped some time now, but unfortunately we have now come to the point where we realize that goSupermodel costs more for watAgame than what we earn it. Something must be done.

goSupermodel would not exist if it were not for you. We are so happy and grateful that you want to spend your time here and keep in touch with your GsM friends. We know that many of you have started your own campaigns to save goSupermodel - yes, we have seen your research and read your emails. We are very touched by your dedication and all that you do for the site means so much to us. That is why we have decided that you will have a say in deciding what will happen in future.

We have two options.

The first option is to goSupermodel will shut down later this year. We do not know exactly when, but if we shut down so the decision is crucial: After that it will not goSupermodel exist back in some form. It had obviously been very sad.

The other option is that you help us keep goSupermodel alive. It would mean that pay real money. We have calculated that approximately 1.50 per user / day had covered our costs of running the site. For the money you would also get goMoney and Diamonds, and we had been able to take back some of the things that users lacked - for example goKoder. It would be cheaper than what VIP is now, but have the same advantages. With only those who pay for GSM on the website had control models do not exist. It had made the community much stronger and more fun. For this to happen, enough to be willing to pay for goSupermodel.

Take a moment and think about these two options. It's the only options we have, so you have to take a stand. Which option do you choose?

Fill out the survey to help us determine the goSupermodel future!

"

And yes, what do you think? Its it is right to ask kids pay 54 euros per year?
Also this message states only good people stay and makes "those who dont stay" as it is bad people.  


Credit: Used Svedish version as translation base google translated:

       
Två alternativ för goSupermodel

Som ni redan vet så har vi skurit ner en hel del på våra resurser när det gäller goSupermodel. Vi har slutat med kampanjer och liknande för att spara pengar. Det har hjälpt oss en tid nu, men tyvärr har vi nu kommit till den punkt då vi inser att goSupermodel kostar mer för watAgame än vad vi tjänar på det. Något måste göras.

goSupermodel hade inte existerat om det inte vore för er. Vi är så glada och tacksamma för att ni vill spendera er tid här och hålla kontakt med era gSm-vänner. Vi vet att många av er har dragit igång era egna kampanjer för att rädda goSupermodel - ja, vi har sett era undersökningar och läst era emails. Vi är väldigt rörda av ert engagemang och allt ni gör för sajten betyder så mycket för oss. Det är därför vi har beslutat oss för att ni får vara med och bestämma vad som ska hända framöver.

Vi har två alternativ.

Det första alternativet är att goSupermodel kommer stängas ner senare iår. Vi vet inte exakt när, men om vi stänger ner så är beslutet avgörande: Efter det kommer inte goSupermodel existera igen i någon form. Det hade såklart varit väldigt ledsamt.

Det andra alternativet är att ni hjälper oss att hålla goSupermodel vid liv. Det skulle innebära att betala riktiga pengar. Vi har beräknat att ungefär 1,50 SEK per användare/dag hade täckt våra kostnader för att driva siten. För de pengarna skulle du också få goPengar och Diamanter, och vi hade kunnat ta tillbaka några av de saker som användarna saknat - till exempel goKoder. Det skulle vara billigare än vad VIP är nu, men ha samma fördelar. Med endast de som betalar för gSm på hemsidan hade trollmodeller inte existerat. Det hade gjort communityt mycket starkare och roligare. För att detta ska kunna bli verklighet måste tillräckligt många vara villiga att betala för goSupermodel.

Ta en stund och fundera över dessa två alternativ. Det är de enda alternativen vi har, så du måste ta ställning. Vilket alternativ väljer du?

Fyll i undersökningen och hjälp oss bestämma över goSupermodels framtid!
   
       
   
Ta undersökningen
   
   
       
       
Diskutera på goSupermodel

Mycket på en gång, va? Diskutera alternativen och dina känslor med de andra modellerna i forumet.
   
       
   
Gå till goSupermodel
   
   
SES SNART PÅ: GOSUPERMODEL! 

frostbite

I have been infection inside my inner cheeck nostril for moth soon and today bit fewerish and ill feeling. But I can't help it when today starts Frostbite, first con that I ever take a part to.
I m so nervous. Not only that but I'm sure its time for my perioids also so I'm pretty soon its gonna up for being a mess.. Just because I'm ill and tired. But I still wanna go and forget I' feel sick. And yes, don't worry. I will be dressing up warly and keeping myself warm. *Grin*

Well lets see how this all ends. I m pretty sure it still will be great deal of fun. All I hope I don't feel tired too soon. Because I wanna party!

Sky News Live

Ohjeet Striimauksesta

Varjokanin pikavinkki kuinka Striimata ym pelejä nettiin nettiin. Nauttikaa

Maksaako tämä jotain?
-Ei. Itse käytän täysin ilmaista ohjelmistoa.
Maksetaanko minulle?*
-Mikäli jälkikäteen laitat striimisi Youtubeen, ja sinulla on Google ads-tili* sinä saat maksun joka kerta kun joku klikkaa/tai katsoo mainoksen videossasi.

Tarvittava ohjelmisto:
OBS Vapaaehtoinen ( Itsellä huono nettiyhteys, eikä XSplit tuostu striimaamaan ääntä.)
 XSplit Gamecaster 
+

(www.twitch.tv)**

Tarvittavat tilit:
XSplit-tili. (XSplit ohjelmisto vaatii toimiakseen sen että kirjaudut sisään ennenkuin striimaat).
Twitch - Twitch on suoratoisto-kanava jota itse käytän. Toistaa ehkä 20sek viiveellä mutta on silti hyvä, ottaen huomioon että se on täysin ilmainen.
Haluttaessaan voi myös luoda Youtube-tilin, jonne Twitchistä voi suoraan lähettää jo lähetetetyt striimit.

------------------------------------

Mistä aloittaa?
Kun sinulla on kaikki asennettuna, ladattuna sekä omistat twitch-tilin sinun tulee yhdistää Twitch niin OBSin kuin Xsplit Gamecasterin kanssa (Mikäli asensit OBSin ja haluat käyttää sitä striimaamiseen.)

OBS yhdistetään Stream key-koodin avulla.
Koodin löydät Twitchin Dashboardista

Muista että et KOSKAAN ikinä missään tilanteedsssa jaa STREAM KEYtäsi edes äitisi kummin kissan kaiman kissan kanssa, koska sen avulla kuka tahansa voi Striimata mitä tahansa tilisi kautta.

Eli siis Obsin valtuutat striimaamaan asettamalla koodisi Streamkeyksi lähetys-asetuksissa.

XSplit

taas opastaa sinut itse kirjautumaan Xsplitin kautta niin Youtubeen kuin Twitchiinkin.


Kun XSplit Gamecaster on asennettu ja käynnissä avatessasi minkä tahansa pelin voit painamalla CTRL + Shift siirtyä striimaus-valikkoon joka antaa sinun valita striimillesi nimen ja otsikon sekä pystyt näin seuraamaan Twitch-chattia suoraan pelistä käsin. Chatti kuitenkin toimii ilman striimauksen ollessa päällä, kunhan XSplit Gamecaster itse on päällä.

Itse Striimaan käyttäen OBSia ja käytän Gamecasteria päällä vain seuratakseni chattia, mikä ei OBSilla onnistu.


Kun käynnistät Obsin kannattaa ensin aloittaa esikatselu ja tämän jälkeen muokata skene (lähetysalue), ja lisätä ikkunankaappauksia / tai vaihtoehtoisesti gamecapture (pelinkaappaus), ja sitten lopettaa esikatselu ja aloittaa srtiimaus. Muista että tässä vaiheessa sinulla on oltava peli jo käynnissä taustalla, jotta OBS havaitsisi sen. + Gamecaster päällä jotta näkisit chatin.

Tiedän että tämä saattoi olla hieman monimutkaista koska ensimmäistä kertaa ohjeita kirjoitan. Olkaa hyvä ja nauttikaa ja kysykää ihmeessä lisäkysymyksiä jos jokin jäi epäselväksi. Kaikki tähän blogiin tulleet kommentit luetaan ja ja niihin pyritään vastaamaan niin pian kuin vain suinkin on mahdollista.

~Varjokani

Vlog: Pelko ja epämieluisat asiat short

How can one be so tired with no reason whats so ever..?

Yep. For no reason whats so ever I'm feeling quite dead and tired and like apatic... its killing me. I can't get anything done because I just feel like I m on sleeping pills? Why? What is this? This is damn scary.. I don't remember if I woke up earlier today. I think I did and I remember eating something but then it could be yesterday morning also? This is so confusing and I wanna scream. But I'm scared. But the otherhand I feel too tired to even care for it. What is wrong with me?

Mäkin sitten muiden perässä rupesin vloggaa

Mäkin sitten muiden perässä rupesin vloggaa
Vlogi nähtävistä täältä.

..

Havent been here for while because I have tried to become more social person irl and url. Trying to talk with people on skype. But now I know that I should never trust anyone or trust people or love them.
..
I notice the old me awaken slowly inside me. The one that can't trust people. I just knew this would happen. Now I m going to stick to the old and be myself with out humans. And hating humans. Because I know they hate me.

New ways to follow me..?

http://varjokani.tumblr.com/

Suuri let's play -kysely

Noniin nyt on kaiffarit sellanen juttu että rusakko antaa teille äänivallan ja te saatte päättää mistä pelistä teen seuraavan lets play videon:
Pelejä joita omistan:
Disney Tarzan
Disney Pentujen Pelastusoperaatio (Peli Englanninkielinen)
Disney Karhuveljeni Koda (Osittain venjäjänkielinen. Hahmojen puheet Englanniksi)
Skyrim (Englanti)
Morrowind (Englanti)
Oblivion (Englanti)
Dragon Age (Englanti)
Sims2
Harry Potter ja viisasten kivi (Valittavaissa Englanti tai Suomi)
Barbien Kynsistudio
Muumit piilosilla
Muumit ja Taikurinhattu

Eli tänne vaan kommenttia. 8-)
-Rusakko sulkeutuu suosioonne.

RIP GSM

Bye bye Gosupermodel. You never will be the same again.

Minecraft demo first try - eka yritys

Lol. Varjokani pelasi Mineä ja mokas ja pahasti. XD

Google addsense finally activated

Yay, I just wanted to share with you that now Google addsense is activated and working in my blog. :)

dog sitting

Next week should be fun because I m going to be  baby sitting my neighbors dog, or is it called dog sitting then? ..
Well at least I don't need to be alone  with my own pet kittens who sleep most of the day off. And I have someone to talk to.

The Shadowlands- nettiprojekti

Niin projekti on taas käynnistynyt. Vaikka menetinkin vanhan läppärini mukana suurimman osan tiedostoista Shadowlands beta nimellä kulkenut projekti on taas käynnissä. Tällähetkellä harvat tietävät missä mennään mutta tässä kysynkin teiltä että keitä teistä projekti kiinnostaa? Kommentoikaa ja kertokaa jos olette kiinnostuneita.

Kyseessä siis on nettisivu-yhteisö + peli-projekti alá Kimba and Friends. 8-)

Alternative ending..?

I needs to say even some times an alternative ending is the scarier one in most of the cases it is also the cutest one.

Same goes in many things. And just wanted to show it to you here.

Eli siis Gosussa siis ei saa provosoitua

"...Olet jatkanut riidan haastamista sekä toisen mallin kiusaamista aiheessa "Mä vihaan ku kimba". Olet mm. kommentoinut toisen mallin juttuja "Aww.. Eli siis yrität paeta vastuuta? Söpöä. <3 Ei, me kyllä ollaan täällä ihan järkeviä oltu mut susta en tiedä.", "Ja neiti on muuten sitten hyvä ja kertoo ikänsä? Onko neiti mua vanhempi? Eli onko neiti sitten jo 21v? :O Sitten ihmettelen kyllä aiheen olemassaoloa ihan uudestaan ääneen o_o XDD" sekä "Nyt sitte voidaan miettiä miten yhtään kukaan 51-vuotias on a) gosussa ja jaksaa ottaa noin isot paineet rusakon olemassaolosta? :3 Söpöä. <3". Ymmärtänet itsekin, että kyseiset kommentit ovat tarkoitettu vain toisen mallin mielen pahoittamiseksi sekä ärsyttävät ja provosoivat toista osapuolta. "

Joo ymmärrän pointtinne ja yritän olla hiljaa. 8-)

Ja joo edelleen tiedostan itsekin provosoituvani herkästi ja yritän opetella siitä eroon. Mutta näemmä tarvitsen vielä paljon harjoittelua.

Ja tähän perään liitän että todellakin yritän oppia virheistäni ja toivon että malliani ei poisteta sillä mä todella yriän parhaani vaikkakin nyt huomaan että mokasin ja pahasti näemmä.

Varjokani in social media

Yea, just to keep you guys updated

http://varjokani.tumblr.com/
http://instagram.com/varjokani
https://twitter.com/varjokani

8-)

Gosugaalasta

Nyt kaikki palkinnot on siirretty Palkintomalli nimiselle käyttäjälle joka on Deternityn hallinnassa yhtä reppua lukuun ottamatta jonka vaihdon toinen osapuoli perui ennen kuin rusakko ehti sen hyväksyä. Sen tialla on nyt timanttireppu kaupasta.

Mutta siis ajattelin vielä täälläkin infomoida asiasta että rusakolla ei enää kamoja ole vaan ne ovat nyt Deten omistuksessa olevalla palkintomallilla jolta ne sitten jaetaan Gaalan aikana.

8-)

wut

And again for some reason I'm feeling really un-inspired. Maybe it got something to do with my perioid.

Well maybe I should go out and jump and run in forest for while.. but then again I feel too lazy to do that. Too uninspired and lazy to get inspired. Yep, this is really going to be epic love story.. nope nope.

And yes, I again have failed my task to write here daily. Shame on me!

Mistäs tekis teille Let's play videoita?

Mietinpä tässä että mistä peleistä tekis let's play videota Youtubeen ja millä kielellä tekisi?

Pelejä joita omistan
-Skyrim+ lisäosat
Fallout 3
-Oblivion+ lisäosat
-Morrowind+ lisäosat
Brother Bear (Disney) /Venäjänkielinen Disney-elokuvaan perustuva peli
Narnia - The The Lion the witch and the wardrope
The sims2 + kaikki lisäosat
The sims 3 Peruspeli

Ja kertokaa ihmeessä että millä kielellä vedän? Suomeksi vai Enlganniksi?

--
Tässä kokeilu-luontoinen vedos Skyrimistä:

 

 

F€veR1sh sp4mm1ng 0r wµt?

I still got this damn fever. And for some reason I feel really lazy and tired.. Also writing this blog seems now impossible. I feel  a way too tired to think of anything unless I speak it outload as I write it down.  

Also I feel like I already failed my task to write here daily. But well I try my best bros. I really do.

Okay for trying my best leads me to think an other thing. Getting really a job. I have two options what to do but that seems to be it. Too many choices for me. Hehhehe.
Maybe I stop writing now and go get some sleep.

Crazy humans

Somethings you go as you go and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you try to be nice to everyone even you know people are just taking advantage and using you. Sometimes you get pissed of cause of that.

In most cases you end up either happy or crying. And then there is the situation where you think you know the person. You have been acted normal and the way you always do, and the other one just one day is like "ya know, I lied to you your whole life and I hate you. And you are horrible person and bad person."  What.,..? Yea, as long as I see the one who is lying is the most baddest one.

I know I m not perfect but I always vote for being true self and honest for everything. For good things and the bad things. Call me bad but I m too tired to care about anyone.. Or anything.

I just keep wondering is it really so hard to be honest in this world.. What is the price of lying. Who gets advantage there. Its not me for sure. And I bet the other one does either not gain any good for it. So why are people doing it then?
...

Nah.. Who does get those crazy humans anyways.
-Bigwig

Wow..Lots of stalkers

I find it funny when none comment my blog and still I got this

1,000 addviews. Yea, my point is to say thank you and also give you courage to add comments here. Comments would be nice.

My first let's play videos ever

Lol. I know I m a beginner and I did this in Finnish for my url friends who asked for it: